Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to my near-monthly shout into the void called the internet! Today, we present the second installment of a worthless piece of dog shit trying to reconcile their guilty conscience to no avail!
God, I am such a freak show. I’m not even saying this shit to be “edgy” or whatever. I am actually fucking hilarious to watch. I’ve been replaying memories of my worthless life and let me tell ya, it could win a fucking comedy award. Hok shit.
So, first, I honestly thought that my parents wanted me. Holy fuck, that was a good one. My parents? Ha. Wanting me? God, it’s like naivety on fucking steroids. Then, I wonder why the fuck I can’t ever please my fucking family. Hahahaha, God. Oh man. This is a funny joke. Do I honestly think that I’m good enough to fill their fucking standards? Ha. That’s a fucking good joke.
Next, I wonder why I don’t have friends. Maybe, it’s because I’m a fucking depressing piece of shit. Who the hell wants to be around that bullshit? Ha! Maybe it’s because I won’t fucking talk to them and shut myself down before I can let the words escape from my shitty body. Ha! For God’s sake, I won’t even tell them what’s wrong anymore! They want to help me, or at least they do the nice friend thing where they pretend to want to help me. God, I am so far beyond help. If only they knew.
Honestly, I don’t think that there are any positive traits in me. Maybe if we counted “being honest when it comes to bitching and complaining about life” then I would have a single positive thing. Until then, I’m stuck shouting into this void, pretending like people actually read this shit. God, if I were them, I wouldn’t read this list of fucking complaints. They aren’t even good complaints. I won’t even back them up with support, like we’re all taught to do in the fucking schools, probably because I’m too fucking stupid and too much of a fucking coward.
I’ve been given a wicked fucking great life. Literally, if I weren’t in the equation, everything would be perfect. If I just didn’t exist, then life would be great for everyone and there would be one less worthless heap of rotting flesh to pick up after I die. Honestly, what the hell do I think I’m doing. I can’t even be fucking responsible for my actions anymore. Correction: won’t. I could do so much good and be a great person, I’m sure, if I just took my head out of my fucking ass and started fucking trying to stop being fucking shit.
Haha, maybe the funniest part of this all is that people actually thinknI’m intelligent or have a fucking future. Someone told me the fimunniest thing in the world the other day, and I had to contain my laughter. I was talking about how I’ll never go to college and I was told that I’m one of the people who is smart enough to just fucking skip college and still be successful in life.
Hahahaha! Oh God, that one gets me every time. People honestly thinking that I have a future ahead of me. God. I must be one hell of a liar if they believe that fucking bullshit. The fact the people even see me as living long enough to be successful might just be the funniest part out of all of this.
I almost forgot to add something relaly fucking hilarious: I did end up going back to cutting. God, I set myself up for that shitstorm of a habit again. Whoo. I actually thought I had fucking kicked that habit. What a fucking joke! Oh man, I am actually fucking worthless. Good on me for screwing myself over for the entertainment of absolutely fucking no one. Maybe the void thinks it’s funny. That thing Nietsche said about the void staring back at me when I’m staring at it, maybe the void can laugh, too. If it can, I bet it’s laughing its ass off now. I know I am.
Well, if you’ve ever read through one of my lists of complaints, you know that I’m all talk and I’m way too much of a fucking coward to actually kill myself. That’s good. That means there will be plenty more for me to laugh at. Dear God. I am truly the most worthless being on thid earth. Maybe, if I’m lucky, I’ll get killed. Oh dear God, that would be fucking hilarious. Can we all just take a moment and imagine my body getting slammed by a fucking car? Hahaha. Oh God. What would make it priceless would be if the car didn’t even stop and just kept going. Oh God, my body would just fly over the fucking car and land face-first on the ground. Hahah!
Well, I hope this provided as many laughs for you as it did for me.
7 comments
i didnt laugh, but it is funny, in an ironic sense
Well talking about yourself like that won’t get ya anywhere! We all have worth… some just have to find their place. Start by looking for it.
When I read this I started laughing almost to tears because of just how relatable it was. Sometimes I think how beyond freaking messed up my life is and I can’t help but laugh and think, don’t stop there! Let’s see how much worse this could get! Come on! I find literally nothing in my life interesting and everything “normal” feels so fucking pointless I could just die of laughing. And now I’m laughing at that remark, because I’d really just rather be dead. But, I’m a coward too. So since we’re both here, we might as well make it interesting. Wanting to die is pretty liberating to me and I will not say that you should do this because I am pretty fucked up and do not know if this’ll do more damage than good, but my motto at the moment is, “well, I want to die anyways.” You want to eat 3 bacon cheeseburgers? Do it! You wanna die anyways so why the hell not? You wanna dress in drag or make the most angry splatter painting or break every freaking pencil you own because it feels better than doing nothing? DO. IT. Why slit your wrist when you could buy some drugstore coloring and dye your hair green or bright pink? Or drink half a liter of orange soda? Or rip pages out of books and throw them at the void? Bonus points if the void throws them back!! I’m so tired of living, so I’m gonna do something else. I’m gonna do the most fucking weird shit because it makes me feel something other than wanting to bang my head against the wall. And since I want to die anyways, who fucking cares? Let’s do it.
I read this and couldn’t help but laugh. Our brains are fucked beyond measure, my friend. Thanks.
I feel you, I have a worthless existence as well, it’s sad but true. I’ll never be able to live up to the standards given to me.
I understand I have lots of fake friends and my family is interesting. Sending positive vibes
I honestly don’t think I’ll ever be successful in my life either