So i dont know how this works so i am gonna start off by saying why i wanna get run over by a bus. You see i fucked up my life big time by my own hands last year and also this year. even when i could see that i was ruining my life i didnt stopped. its like i was enjoying watching myself get rekt. i am so fuking stupid! my dad finally decided its better off that i leave college cuz becoming a graduate is not for me. then coming to MY ABUSIVE JERK OF A BOYFRIEND. yea it would require another post to describe the habits of my boyfrnd. well everybody who knows him advises me to leave him. but you know why i cant leave him? because i am afraid that if i leave him then i am not gonna find anyone else to love me. well i know he doesnt really loves me. he only cares for me when he is in the mood and rest of the time argues with me and calls me a whore. i’m only there to boost his ego. i am like a tissue paper to him. i know i am a BIG FUCKING moron and even after knowing everything i am keeping my eyes closed. yep. thats how pathetic i am. basically i have no friends, my family wants to see me dead, and i dont fit anywhere, and on top of that i get bullied by my neighbours constantly, my best friend died and my dad often comes home drunk and beats me black and blue. i am a dissapointment and i constantly hoped and tried to change things. but its been stuck in this situation for a while now. i lost all my patience. i am ready to die now. but i am a coward so i cant really take my life (believe me i have attempted several times) thus if someone comes and kills me i am gonna be most happy.
P.S. i skipped many details as in how exactly i screwed up my career and what other nasty shit my boyfriend put me through and why the hell my own grandma wanted to blow my head off with a gun. i saved them for later.
10 comments
That award is mine god dammit! I dedicated my entire life to screwing up! I wrote an acceptance speech and everything…
No fighting. Husk: you get the lifetime achievement award assuming you are over the age of 50.
You mean I have to wait another 21 years for my dedication to the craft to be recognized?! That is some straight up bullshit! It’s a fix I tell you!
Afraid so. Think of it as more time to develop your gift. Keep practicing, I can tutor you.
No! This is my moment! (grabs award & starts reading speech)
‘I’d like to thank my mom & dad for passing me their crippling neuroses. The teachers who told me I wouldn’t amount to shit – I owe you everything. All the kids who spit on me at school – this is for you guys. Wait! There’s so many people I’ve left out. Don’t play the music!’
(husk is dragged kicking and screaming off stage as crowd boos and throws things.)
Husk: if you have a blog, I want to follow it; a book, i want to read it.
This is classic stuff. I vote you to be our emcee for “S.P. ‘on Ice’ “.
Finally! Some recognition! Since you ask, my motivational book ‘You Can Hate Yourself Too!’ is available now at all substandard bookshops.
And bathroom stalls, Husk, let’s not forget those humble beginnings and that your fan base (so to speak) found you while sitting on, well, you know, wiping their, well….
Sigh. Good times.
I owe them all so much. I promised myself I wasn’t going to cry, but…
Who… lots of pain. I know you won’t be able to receive this because of the cycle of abuse, but I’m going to say it anyway. You are NOT the loser in your story. It’s a lie you’ve been fed for so long that you believe it to be true. Someone had posted an amazing explanation of what you’re going through on SP via YouTube recently. If I can find it, I will post it here for you.
Someone else will love you, but until you gain the emotional and mental freedom from abuse, you’ll just keep repeating the same scenario with the same type of asshole.