Hi everyone,
This is my first post here but have been reading the SP posts for about a month now. I’m really glad I found this site – I’ve enjoyed reading the posts and how friendly and supported people are here.
So here’s a bit of my story…I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety and Cyclothymia in 2008. I was prescribed Paxil and took it for year then tapered off of it cuz I really didn’t like how it made me feel. I felt like I was living in a synthetic shell of my former self. I swear I could feel the meds travelling slowly through my veins. It was a weird feeling. I was then prescribed Zoloft and had much success with it for 2 years. Unfortunately, I had to stop taking Zoloft for a year – unemployed, no money for doctors appointment and meds.
Fast forward to a month ago, I was put back on 100mg of Zoloft again due to Social Anxiety resurfacing, and for the past 2 weeks, I felt suicidal – to the point, of researching, planning, and 3 failed attempts. In my entire 46 years, I have not felt this extreme. Sure, I’ve had thoughts about it during my teens and early twenties but they were just thoughts that I didn’t act upon.
Has anyone felt more suicidal when they started taking an SSRI? Could this just be a side affect that will wear off soon? Zoloft worked for me before, so not sure why it’s affecting me like this now…frustrating.
12 comments
Yes. Welcome, and IN MY OPINION, ( excuse me shouting) antidepressants are a scam. Pharmaceutical Grade poison that led me on a 3 year journey into insanity. How do you fix a cognitive reasoning issue (depression, anxiety) with a pill? You don’t. And big ****** says you can, and we pay them, and they are billionaires. Junk. Might as well be swallowing dirt, at least it’s natural, not poison. Now, off my soap box. Please help yourself to coffee and cyanide as you leave the planet. Thanks for listening.
Haha…”swallowing dirt”. Couldn’t help but chuckle reading that. Thanks!
Trazodone did this to me. It started within three days, and by day eight I had stopped taking it. Not an SSRI, but same problem.
Isn’t Trazodone a sedative ? I take it when I have trouble sleeping … it knocks me out.
Also an antidepressant. It was prescribed for sleep, however.
it can be a common “side effect” for many anti depressants and anti anxiety drugs, happens for some, for others they work as intended
however
IF your Cyclothymia diagnoses holds up, or was “missed” and you happen to fall more in certain range of bipolar, then it is far from unsurprising since SSRI could be one of the WORST treatments for it with conventional medicine alone (the whole “spectrum” can be real hard to actually diagnose proper and many get diagnosed and/or treated wrong,mixing up BPD, mood disorders, so on and so on, always get 2nd and 3rd opinions because the DSM is constantly changing because they truly know fuckall what’s going on)
IF you happen to be in the range of a bipolar disorder, SSRI can drastically worsen the suicidal thoughts/tendencies even more than they already can for some “regular” depressed persons, and what you felt before/last time could be either just an up period, or even just placebo effect(you’d be surprised how many studies show placebos have close to equal or more positive results than some anti depressants)
i’d reconfer with your/some new medical professionals (since it seems mind baffling to give you such diagnosis yet prescribe an SSRI for is which in common pracise is generally a big nono)
and always check up on the meds they want you to take before you actually take them, some messed up shit out there, and some of it is prescribed willy nilly, don’t be affraid to say no or ask for a substitute that has better “data” (even if your doc doesn’t get kickbacks from that brand)
I think I’m gonna seek out a 2nd/3rd opinion. It could very well be that I was Bipolar all along. Or, maybe I have progressed or regressed (depending on how you view it) from cyclothymia to more bipolar. Thanks for the advice.
“How do you fix a cognitive reasoning issue (depression, anxiety) with a pill? You don’t.”
There’s also currently no way to know what’s going on in any individual brain, and psychiatrists will be the first people to admit this.
YES!! FUCKING YES!!! YES!!! AND I CAN’T GET MY FUCKING LIFE BACK!!!
And I’ll tell you what, I was well into adulthood when it fucked my life!
FUCK! (just wanted to reiterate that: FUCK!!!)
Sometime times we need to hear it just this clearly too. Thank you Witty and sorry big ****** fucked you. Big medicine fucked me. FUCK EM JUST FUCK EM.
a1957: Sorry to hear that.
You seem to be handling it all okay. Seriously, if I had a gun, I don’t think I’d be here right now. But it’s all conjecture. Normally I abhor violence; against myself it seems not to trouble me as much, although I’d much prefer a more “dignified” exit as you know.
Remind me why you’re here again? (Or not. I’m tired. Going to bed). Good night.
Certainly Sweety. Neonatal trauma and parental unit cruelty appear to be the leading cause of my suicidal bent. I pursued the dignified exit too but finally decided that reliability far exceeds dignity. Besides, Death has all the dignity I could ever dream of.