My first post

Hi. I’m new here. I found the site about a week ago, and I decided to join today. I’ve been depressed since the age of 7 (after my parents divorced and my dad’s girlfriend abused me), and I’ve had severe generalized anxiety disorder since the age of 15. I’m a 20 year old girl. I tried to take my life for the first time last April and again in early May, both by overdosing on ibuprofen. I got myself into counseling, and lied to myself that I was fine. I got on anxiety/depression medication. God knows why, but I stopped taking it in August. Flash forward to November 7th, I tried to end it again by cutting my neck. I’m really bad at killing myself, I guess. If that didn’t work (which of course it didn’t), I had a backup plan. To drive my car into a bridge support. I was too much of a coward to do that. I was also planning on driving to a bridge I knew had worked for someone a couple months before. I was too much of a coward to do that, too. I told my parents, again, and moved back into my moms house. I went to a month and a half intensive outpatient program (IOP) 3 hours a day, 5 days a week, for 6 weeks. That… helped. But now, I’m back to my old suicidal self. I was thinking to maybe get a gun and end it on my 21st birthday (7 months away). Hmm. Anyway, I hope I’m welcomed here.