I wonder why I keep hanging out with this friend of mine…he’s cool for the most part but he can be quite immature. He tries acting like a tough guy but it makes him look stupid when he overreacts to things that typically wouldn’t piss someone off that bad. He didn’t grow up with a dad so he exaggerates the manliness thing to a higher degree than necessary. He keeps getting in trouble for stupid s***. When he gets mad he starts breaking s*** and making a mess. I’ve personally never pissed him off cuz I’m really laid back. I get embarrassed to be seen hanging out with him sometimes because when he’s not mad he’s high and he starts acting even more immature. The dude went driving drunk and high at the same time. He rolled up to his house in his car one time with the music volume on the highest volume and he left it on for a good 30 seconds. He thinks he’s being tough but really he’s just being an @$$hole to his neighbors. He talks a lot about respect but he doesn’t even show his mom none and he lives under her roof. I think he’s got the definition of respect twisted up. He smokes and drinks pretty much every day. He always calls me up to hang out and I don’t mind drinking but I don’t like drinking for 3+ nights in a row. I could keep going on and on about his flaws. I’m still his friend and I want to continue being his friend but I feel like he needs to mature. I don’t know if I should tell him this.
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3 comments
It’s OK to like a friend that is flawed. Everybody is flawed!
Friends generally tell each other when someone is wandering off the path of whatever is considered optimal living. But, he may not ever be receptive to that… ever. Only you can decide.
Hang with him when you want. Don’t if you don’t. Def, do not get in a car with him when he’s drunk or high.
Work on increasing your circle of friends. There are a lot of fun, less angry people out there.
He seems to have so much fun lol. If he respects you, talk to him. I had an a$$h0l3 as a Friend too. I sometimes felt a lil embarrassed to hangout with him. I’m the only one he listens to. When I point out his sh1tty behaviour he would always argue and make a big scene out of it. I know he is good Friend so I never gave up telling he was wrong. Things changed in time. Now, he is the only one that stands by me and behaves more mature than I am. He is one reason why I’m still alive.
So I’d say TALK to him. It could make a big difference in his life.
You should watch the short film feature Pear Cider and Cigarettes (35 minutes long). It’s based on a true story about a man who was acquainted with someone like your friend. The guy he knew ended up in China where he was slowly, painfully dying as he waited for a liver transplant. That’s what happens when a person thinks they can get away with being an asshole throughout their self-destructive life. It will always catch up to you.
Personally, I think these people do it for the attention and/or because they’re masochistic. They know they need a lot of help, but they won’t admit to that. If YOU try to tell them, they call you “crazy” and “boring” and “not fun” and “judgmental” and they act like a victim and turn everything around on you when you had genuine reasons to be upset with them for their self-absorbed behavior that sometimes causes danger to others (like going drunk driving). Anyway, maybe types like this are nearly impossible to get along with if you want to maintain your sanity. Idk. 🙂
(Source: personal experience – sorry if I do sound judgmental. It’s tough when you care about someone and watch them destroy their life.)