@freeroma
Well, mostly because I’m almost always cranky and sensitive. And I lash it on him. He understands but it still doesn’t change the fact that I hurt him. I always manage to hurt him and make him feel guilty. It makes me feel like an abuser. I’m abusing the privileges he entrusted on me.
We’re compromising but some days, bad days make me irrational and I always regret it.
He always forgive me but I know I have to learn how to control it. I’m always the one who starts every fight. He trusts me so much and so do I. And with this honesty, I opened my real self to him. The irrational person that I am. And I’m hella toxic when I’m irrational.
Thanks as always for your concern, freeroma. I hope you’ve been well enough to open your curtains 🙂
Have patience with yourself, as he surely does with you. That trust is something special. I still dont have a tight rein on my irrationality (and yes i relate too well to that) but i agree its for the better to be tamed. I remember a desire of yours to learn how to cook.. Ive found beating up dough for bread can release frustration without involving others. As for me.. I opened up enough to gain a new friend, and im still mixed about it. Life isnt all bitter, at least. .. Be well anony, as ever.
3 comments
Hey 🙂 i think making an effort counts for something. And it takes two, things arent just on you. Why do you feel toxic?
@freeroma
Well, mostly because I’m almost always cranky and sensitive. And I lash it on him. He understands but it still doesn’t change the fact that I hurt him. I always manage to hurt him and make him feel guilty. It makes me feel like an abuser. I’m abusing the privileges he entrusted on me.
We’re compromising but some days, bad days make me irrational and I always regret it.
He always forgive me but I know I have to learn how to control it. I’m always the one who starts every fight. He trusts me so much and so do I. And with this honesty, I opened my real self to him. The irrational person that I am. And I’m hella toxic when I’m irrational.
Thanks as always for your concern, freeroma. I hope you’ve been well enough to open your curtains 🙂
Have patience with yourself, as he surely does with you. That trust is something special. I still dont have a tight rein on my irrationality (and yes i relate too well to that) but i agree its for the better to be tamed. I remember a desire of yours to learn how to cook.. Ive found beating up dough for bread can release frustration without involving others. As for me.. I opened up enough to gain a new friend, and im still mixed about it. Life isnt all bitter, at least. .. Be well anony, as ever.