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Is today the day?

by Snowy

Is today the day? Will the 23rd of May go down as the day I finally snapped. My husband told me last night that all I do is threaten suicide but never follow through. Maybe I should, today seems like a good day to die. No one would miss me, sure all those fake people in my family that just like to dump shit on while I’m stuck in a hole. I locked my keys in my car. My mother in law who I work for is pissed because the other girl called in sick today. She is lazy and doesn’t want to run her business. I can’t tell my husband because he would be super pissed at me. Maybe I should just end it, as I said no one would care. My mom has dementia and would probably forget I was gone.

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9 comments

midian monster 5/23/2017 - 10:08 am

When i was younger, someone very close to me got dementia. They couldn’t remember my name in the end. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. My heart bleeds for you. šŸ™

braiNsane 5/23/2017 - 10:13 am

Today is not the day. I think maybe you just need to try to start living for YOU. Sounds like your husband doesn’t really understand, and like maybe you’re feeling you have to be what other people want you to be? Is that true?

SadPotato 5/23/2017 - 10:42 am

Hi Snowy

It sucks to hear that you’re still with your husband. Life is often hard enough without other people pushing us down. I still think you should distance yourself from these people that are affecting you negatively, especially your husband.

And no, today isn’t the day. You’ve shown great strength considering the daily abuse you receive. You will get through this day, just like the ones before.

fally 5/23/2017 - 10:46 am

what a dangerous thing to tell to someone with suicidal tendencies. why do people think everything is a joke?

FarahLajeenNourAlDeen 5/23/2017 - 10:50 am

I’m really sorry ur husband said that

I’d never say something like that to someone
specially while knowing that they are in such a painful & dark place

I’m sure he loves u, but maybe he just “snapped” at that moment
sometimes giving care to someone you love
really tires u from the inside

but that doesn’t mean you have to “snap” too

I’m sorry ur mom has dementia, & I pray God would always be by her side
but just because she forgets things doesn’t necessarily mean she will forget you
or not sense your absence

I’m speaking from experience here
I’ve witnessed a case were a mother forget almost everything
even her own name
but till her last moments
she didn’t forget her children

U have a very very special place in ur mom’s heart & memory

please be sure of that

FarahLajeenNourAlDeen 5/23/2017 - 10:59 am

I’m also sorry about the whole keys & car situation

Some days are just like that…
but these are things that we can try to work our way around

please try not to let it get to you

& for your mother in law
& ur husband

I think u can explain
that it was normal unintentional mistake that could happen to anyone
& that it’s only this one day that this happened

if they insists on making a big fuss & being angry about it
let them be angry

Ur survival & well-being in addition to practically solving the problem
are far more important than her irrational mood swing

I hope u’r okay…

SeeSmith 5/23/2017 - 11:02 am

I hate that locking myself out thing!

I sense you are trapped in a web of verbal abuse and forced commitments and you feel like you are drowning.

“Shelters ***do*** accept women who are emotionally abused and have not been physically abused.”

stoprelationshipabuse . org/get-help/

Call a help line: Toll Free Phone: 800-799-7233 / 800-799-SAFE

Swim away from the vortex of negativity. You can do this. Maybe you won’t do it today – that’s OK. Read the stuff on that website, it may help you decide what steps you want to take. You ARE NOT weak or stupid or useless if it takes you time to extract yourself from this!

FarahLajeenNourAlDeen 5/23/2017 - 1:44 pm

thanks 4 being practically helpful…

@Snowy… if u actually feel u’r being emotionally / verbally abused / targeted by ur husband & relatives

I do encourage u go forward with such a step…

FarahLajeenNourAlDeen 6/3/2017 - 9:53 am

I really hope you’r doing okay there…

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