I was anxious for a month. Every day I would wake up feeling anxious. Living in fear of when the next panic attack would take over. Then one day it went. I didn’t wake up anxious. I was so so relieved. Unfortunately, this only lasted a few seconds. Then I sunk into depression. A depression that keeps on going and is consuming me at a rapid pace. Its worse by myself. I can’t get out of bed for most of the day. I’m tired all the time. There is no point. I can’t stop thinking about dying. Sometimes when I’m with other people I feel better for a bit. But it’s got to the point where doing the things I love can’t stop the suicidal thoughts anymore. I was at a huge music festival dancing, but suddenly my mind was consumed with the thoughts of death. I was having sex, all I could think about was how I wanted to kill myself.
Today I woke up still feeling depressed but better than the previous weeks. I thought, maybe this is coming to an end.
Guess who just got anxious again…
I can deal with one or the other. Its hard but i can do it. I’ve been doing it for years. But both at the same time… it’s impossible. How do I manage this? Please help me.