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Please help me.

by Isolated

I was anxious for a month. Every day I would wake up feeling anxious. Living in fear of when the next panic attack would take over. Then one day it went. I didn’t wake up anxious. I was so so relieved. Unfortunately, this only lasted a few seconds. Then I sunk into depression. A depression that keeps on going and is consuming me at a rapid pace. Its worse by myself. I can’t get out of bed for most of the day. I’m tired all the time. There is no point. I can’t stop thinking about dying. Sometimes when I’m with other people I feel better for a bit. But it’s got to the point where doing the things I love can’t stop the suicidal thoughts anymore. I was at a huge music festival dancing, but suddenly my mind was consumed with the thoughts of death. I was having sex, all I could think about was how I wanted to kill myself.
Today I woke up still feeling depressed but better than the previous weeks. I thought, maybe this is coming to an end.
Guess who just got anxious again…

I can deal with one or the other. Its hard but i can do it. I’ve been doing it for years. But both at the same time… it’s impossible. How do I manage this? Please help me.

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5 comments

John Doe 5/11/2017 - 6:23 am

Go to a doctor

FarahLajeenNourAlDeen 5/11/2017 - 7:56 am

Dearest & beloved Isolated,

I feel your pain… believe me, your words cut through my heart & I’m very concerned for your sadness but also for your well being & safety…

Here I am, a total stranger… someone who never talked to you before & this is the first thing I wish to write to you… It’s a request…

Please Please Please, no matter what happens… promise me you won’t harm yourself or suicide

Promise me

I swear to you, nothing: no person, no thing, no mood, no condition or situation
is ever worth ending your life over
your soul is the most precious treasure on the face of the earth
You are irreplaceable
& I can list to u so many reasons why

I want to talk to you about all these other things you think & write about
I want to try, with you, to answer all your clever questions
Questions that reflect the real depth of your intelligence
Questions we might not, both of us, find answers to… but we can at least try

I want to write & write & write but I’m worried that it will be too much 4 u
Or that maybe this is not a good time & that you might not want to read

So kindly allow me to ask you this:

Can we be friends… for a while at least?
Can we talk?
Can we start by knowing a bit about you?
How old are you?
How’s ur life been going, childhood till now?
Can we talk about ur family? Brothers? Sisters?
U’r welcome to give any & all the details you want…
I’m perfectly ready & willing to read the story of ur life
🙂
Let’s end by an introduction about when & how these feelings & thoughts started occurring to u?
Do you remember?
& just for the sake of the conversation, can u give urself another nickname that has nothing to do with isolation or loneliness (just for a change)?
🙂

my dearest
I truely want to help you… would you please let me?
I’ll do whatever you ask, I’ll go wherever you want to go…
just promise me you’r not going to quit on me & on everything else

I know, right now, it feels as a heavy promise… I know you feel you can’t promise that…
but please try…
if not for yourself
if not for your family
then for me…
the total stranger who read your words & for some unknown reason felt like you are her own sister
I want to help in any & every way I can

“I promise I won’t harm myself or take my life no matter what happens”

Just say the words
then write them down & post them

Your wrote, some other day, that people don’t care…
Could you please allow me to be an official people’s representative today 🙂
I care for you
I swear it on that which I hold most dear to me

Lots & lots & lots of love
Patiently waiting for your reply (but only if you wish to reply)
Take care

NeverHadAChance 5/11/2017 - 3:20 pm

Keep going. And like John Doe suggested, see a Dr coz you may need some meds to make the symptoms more manageable. It won’t be a miracle cure, but they could help if you’re not already on something. And to let you know, I’ve felt the way you have. In times of what should be enjoyment I’ve too had darker things on my mind. It’s a hard battle. One feeling you think had finally subsided, only for it to be replaced with another. It’s tough.

FarahLajeenNourAlDeen 5/22/2017 - 11:37 am

I hope u’r still here
&I hope u’r okay

FarahLajeenNourAlDeen 6/8/2017 - 3:57 pm

I really still do hope & pray you’re okay
<3

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