Almost 9 months, I took an entire bottle of pills, and was brought back by doctors. Waking up in the hospital that day was the worst day of my life. Ive never wanted to die as bad as i have since that day. I always feel alone and can never do anything. I spend every second of the day at home in my bed, if im not at work. Everything i look at, i imagine a way to die involving it. Life has no purpose. 2 of my friends have killed themselves since then. Why allow them to take their lives but save me? I dont want to here. I shouldve died last year.
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Hey honey…
As much as it hurts me to know that you attempted to end ur life & that you’r here because u wanna try again…
I say “welcome”…
I know u’r probably not in the mood to hear this right now
but i really do care about you
& I really really don’t want you to harm yourself or quit like that
could we maybe talk about this?
can u tell me why u feel that emptiness u feel now?
I’m truly sorry about ur friends 🙁
& i’m sure that must have taken a toll on you
but before this happened, what led you to that first attempt?
I teally hope you could give me a chance at this & that we could talk…
tc & please don’t do anything dark
Nothing bad is ever gonna be worth ending ur life over
okay 🙁
I know this type of hell you are in because I’ve lived it. That question: “Why save me and let others die?” led me down a very, very dark and treacherous road where I nearly lost my mind (or maybe I did lose my mind because I am not the same having been down that road, which is neither good, nor bad, just is).
So i urge you to drop that question: it is an ego-driven one anyway. It presupposes a G-d that sees and cares. It presupposes self-importance or a purpose for your life. You can go mad trying to figure out the why’s and what if’s and the “are you my destiny” kinda queries leading you in a frenetic race down every rabbit hole of the mind and spirit.
You survived.
Now what?
What do you want to do/see/accomplish/create/understand before you die?
🙂
Salutes for that last part
I am sorry for the way you feel. There are no words anyone can say to help other than, people do care. If not for strangers, I would not be here. You being here is you fighting to stay alive so use that to do just that. Find one thing, just one thing that can bring a smile and abuse that for more smiles. The sun will rise tomorrow and hopefully you are here to see it.
really beautiful answer… @_buttney I really hope you can take that to heart
@scottflorida I so glad to have read that & I hope you’r okay now [at least relatively]
if u ever feel like talking
or need help with anything
I’m right her 🙂
[just incase
my email is
farahlajeennouraldeen.1
@gmail
]
Thank you Farah. It’s been 3 months since I hit my low. Life hasn’t got “easier” but I am coping. Because of people like you taking the time to read my post and comment, as little as it may seem, kept me going. I sincerely thank you and wish we had more people like you in the World
🙂
Most most welcome
<3
SCOTT! Hey, man! I don’t think she knows your story. https://suicideproject.org/2017/04/if-you-read-one-post-about-life/
No I didn’t 🙁
Sir, I’m so sorry for all this pain u’ve been through
but yet I’m so proud of the realization & determination you described in that post
I pray with all my heart, that God cures you of ur illness, no matter how difficult or impossible you or anyone thinks this is
please know that more than just one person really care about you
& you are in our minds, hearts & prayers
<3
Thanks so much. I figured since I am okay now, maybe do what some of you did for me. 🙂