I was gone! I had peace and quiet and nothingness. No more pain,no more sound, no more feelings, no more emotions. Total black and total silence and i was at peace….
And then they woke me up…confused, lightheaded, dizzy, and most of all so fucking sad. I couldn’t remember the familiar faces in front of me…my husband and my 2 friends…it took a few minutes for everything to come back.
My one friend was giving me a chair massage and i strattled the chair back resting my head on it. Next thing i knew they were standing over me on the ground. My other friend said i was blue gasping and choking on my tongue and she thought i was gonna puke. She said i wasnt breathing and was out after that.
Why did i have to come back? Just let me go. I felt at peace for the first time ever! I need to wear a big DNR sign on my forehead. Maybe a first tattoo?
2 comments
Yes 100/100 times I would always choose do not resusitate
Speaking for myself, if I was ever in need of CPR, for any reason, I would never want it just because of quality of life issues that often follow. In a conversation with a first responder recently I learned that they check for DNR paperwork in such places as refrigerators, glove boxes, medicine cabinets, plus look for official DNR bracelets and wallet cards. She even joked about getting it tattooed on her chest.
I understand that nowadays we can get pre-hospitaliztion DNR’s which are intended to direct first responders and the best part is , as far as I can tell, no doctor countersign is required. Even though I don’t consider myself suicidal at this time I still plan to get one of these for quality of life reasons.