I really have to go through with ending this. Or the pain will never stop, it’s constant! Never get a break. I have suffered for most of my life, it has been about 90% bad and 10% good.. But something just never felt right about any of this for me. Hardly a life worth living.
Also very worried about the afterlife, or what comes after. It’s making me sick with anxiety to have to think about these things. What if I will just wake up in some other reality? What if there is no escape… 🙁 But what difference does it make if I end it now or when I’m 80? the result would most likely be the same. Everyone is essentially just postponing their deaths, right?
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How old are you? I’m curious
I’m in my twenties. But I already feel I lived so long. The years just drag by at this point
How about you?
Before you execute that decision (sorry…pun unintended) have you considered giving yourself more unconditional love? I’m sorry…I probably sound like a broken record lately (sorry I don’t have a better analogy for you young’uns 🙂 ) but the point of this really scattered post is: can you volunteer at a pet shelter? The people who run the shelter will appreciate you. The animals will adore you…what do you think?
It’s totally completely up to you. Like do you want to live to 80 or live to 25. Do you want to live to 55 or 20. It’s completely up to you.
My theory is there is no afterlife you get one consccious and once it’s dead and gone you don’t get another conscious in another realm.
I’m weird about the afterlife too. I’m not sure what the hell happens really. I can tell you that I’ve seen ghosts before (with other witnesses at the same time under no drugs or alcohol) and don’t really wanna be stuck here forever in a crossed dimension for eternity. Also not keen on reincarnation to have to do it all over again and hope I’m not born a baby living in a desert with a constant struggle for food and survival. The religious thing really doesn’t jive with me for the most part. I’ve studied Christianity for years and think there’s more to it than what is read or interpreted from the generations of different languages. I’m sure there’s something out there, but as I mentioned earlier, who really knows for sure? It can be scary for sure compared to what we’re dealing with now here on earth. Enough with the soapbox. Typing this stuff is actually therapy for myself to prevent me from killing myself. I have 2 doctors, tried to kill myself twice already, and have all the materials I need for a third and most definitely successful attempt. It’s a struggle every day, but I’ve made it a long way since my last attempt almost 3 years ago. Being bipolar is cliche these days, but that’s what I am….. Good days and bad days.