My life now

My life is a mess riht now. So about a month ago i broke up with my boyfriend that I was with for a year and a half. I finally realized how mean he was. He never put much interest into me and he never wanted to help me. For example, I felt it was neccessary to tell him about the time I was raped as a child because I was having a lot of nightmares about it and I was shutting down from it. But, when I told him he got mad at me. He said why would I think that he was equipted to deal with this and that that was too big for him to handle and I have to go to someone else to talk to, then hung up on me. So anyways I broke up with him and shortly after I slept with my best friend, ya I know crazy. But he’s always been there for me and when i do have panic attacks he actually tries to help unlike my ex. He actually wants to learn how to hanlde my anxiety and he wants to know baout my past so he can help me through it. But I can feel myself spiraling down. I can feel my depression coming on and I’ve been having a lot of nightmares lately about what happened when I was little. Sometimes I just need someone to sit with me but the only person I want is my best friend who lives an hour away.