I have been suicidal since I was 8yrs. old, but I keep pushing through just hoping it will get better. This past month has been the final test for me. I always thought my suicidal tendencies have just been because of impulse, so I wouldn’t give it too much thought. I would just cut myself but never push hard enough to bleed out.
I have never thought so seriously about ending my life until this past month’s chaos kept snowballing out of control. I’m trying to move out of my parents house, in hopes I can leave everything behind. But honestly, I don’t think I have much time left. All I think about is my stash of razors and bottles of pills. The sweet bliss of kicking the chair from under me…I don’t need sympathy but I know my clock is ticking.
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I think we all feel that ticking clock. Dont kick the bucket just yet, things are bound to go good for u, give it time
I have also had suicidal thoughts from a very young age. I still am having them now at 20. do you mind me asking how old you are? personally my depression has not gotten any better and it goes through waves of bland to bad to worse, but it always goes back to bland.
I am 20 as well. That is actually a good description of your depression, I feel that. I’m just trying to make it to 21. I keep telling myself one more year. One more year.
When I was a child and a Christian, I use to pray to god, begging him to take me to heaven in my sleep. I guess that’s a form of being suicidal.
I didn’t think about committing suicide until around 2007. I attempted twice. I still wanna die after all these years yet have no painless or quick methods handy to me.
If you ever do try something, pleaseeeeee don’t do anything that will cause you a lot of agony or fail. You really gotta know what you’re doing. From my own experience, I learned that killing yourself is very hard hence why I’m still here.
I was around 7 when I started praying to god to take my life btw. Don’t believe in god now.
I don’t believe there is a god either. My mother actually just told me over the weekend how sad she is for me because I don’t have faith. I thought that was the funniest thing ever! haha I guess I apologize for offending anyone who reads that but whatever.
It’s sad how we were all so young, not even knowing the world, and still just wanted to be taken away. Now here we are as adults, knowing the world a little better, and we still just want to die.
There is no helping people like us. (in my opinion)
I agree.
Faith is foolish yet so many people believe. Why? Because deep down inside they hate this world too. They want the same thing as we do – something better.
They believe that once they die, their spirits will be sent to an otherworldly utopia for all eternity (heaven). Guess the god delusion keeps folks like your mother from breaking.
As for you and I, we skip the bullshit and see reality for what it is. No gods, no afterlife, no hope. This world is all we are gonna get. Life is tragiic, short, and restrictive.
Someday we will all be dead not knowing we had a life to begin with. What a waste.
That was stated so beautifully I can’t even add to it. I need more understanding people like you in my life. lol
Well thank you! I really appreciate that.
People like us tend to have a deeper grasp on reality than the average person. This is because our pain forced us to think about things that others don’t. But our conclusions are “negative” therefore it must be false lol.
Happy and content people are too damn high on life to come down and actually think about the world around them. They go with the flow, smiling and dancing with there eyes shut.