…to make a real connection these days?
It’s easier than ever to MEET people in current times (large cities, social networking, social media, online events, meetup, etc) but it’s harder than ever to make a CONNECTION. A real, genuine connection with someone. Having that person actually LIKE you and you actually LIKE talking to them and not just making polite pleasantries because you have to (could be guy/girl/making a friend, etc).
Do normal people have that problem too or is it just us depressives?
Are there any depressives on here that DO NOT have this problem?
7 comments
Guess it is hard for everyone our age. We re a generation of cowards and we prefer to hide behind a screen rather than assuming what we say and do in front of a person. I think every person that suffers from depression has complicated relationship because, it isn’t easy for normal people to live with someone who s more dead than alive. And for us it can be a fucking nightmare considering all the times we have to fake happiness in order to preserve the ones we care about. Personally I have so much to worry about it makes it almost impossible to even consider meeting someone new because it could potentially bring even more problems.So yeah this prevents me to meet great people but it also prevents me to get hurt. To conclude this long post I d say new relationships can be hard for everyone and the only way you can possibly meet someone interesting is by trying over and over again if you’re brave enough to accept that many people you are going to meet are going to be everything but understanding.
There are 7 billion reasons. Only a small number of them are in marketing departments. For me, it’s because I never have any free time where I’m not inhumanly exhausted. Also many people find me annoying because I don’t like generic trivialities, and I have no internal filter, so I blurt out crass and offensive stuff at inappropriate moments. “Crap, I forgot to pick up some milk.” “Why don’t you just stop at a farm and fondle a cow? There are plenty around here.” (from somewhere nearby): “Don’t you manhandle my Bessy.”
I think normal people have this problem too but they just learned to adapt better. If they don’t have social anxiety and aren’t an outcast, they might cope with the loneliness by surrounding themselves with a lot of people.
A lot of us on here are also introverted, non-conformists and fed up with status quo which makes it harder to find like-minded people.
@Countdown Agree
There are studies that show we make friends and acquiantances a lot during our teen years then this peters out when we are around 27-30 years old. We then only have contacts around 10-30 people that we talk and see constantly on a daily bssis. Like getting into romantic relationships, this seems true as well for friendly relationships. We constantly meet new people and add them into a basket without regard when we are young. Then we later choose and weed out those that don’t hold much value while connecting with those that truly matter.
It also takes social capita to gain more social capital. Most people gain new friends when they are introduced by other people who are already their friends. I hate to say it but chances are if we have a hard time making friends when we’re young, we will have a hard time making friends when we’re truly old and above 30. This is not exact though
Some people DO change and some are late bloomers. Others only experience life when they’re older and finally become carefree of all the troubles the world has to give them. The important thing is just to be exposed out there. You can do that by hanging out in clubs, enthusiast groups or any social gatherings, but again easier said than done.
Also don’t act desperate and needy when making new friends. Don’t FORCE someone to like you and don’t FORCE yourself just to hang out with someone.
I realized today that I don’t have the capacity any more to bond with people. I literally cannot. Because I’m dead inside. I’m a walking corpse. It’s beyond social anxiety or introversion. It’s not giving a fuck about my own existence anymore. It’s realizing allowing others to bond with me only sucks them into my hell. The best thing anyone can do is stay far away from me.
This is exactly true with me also.
I am down to one very rocky relationship with my boyfriend, and my 14 month old baby.
I literally cannot trust anyone else. I’ve tried making connections with co-workers which always blew up in my face by mostly miscommunication or misunderstandings. I wish I could find someone who would truly accept me and love me but it feels impossible, and I heard the reason people have drug/alcohol problems is because of the lack of connection with people. The more people you feel truly connected with, the less you feel you need to force a connection with addiction.