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Purging

by Ronin no seppuku

Let me start by saying that I know I’m a skinny person, and I know I don’t need to lose any weight, even if I would like to lose a few pounds. I’ve also been standing right on the edge (metaphorically speaking) of developing anorexic habits for some time now, though I’ve not had a great deal of choice in how much I do without, due to the physical requirements of my job and the need to keep my energy levels up. I feel fairly confident saying that, because I know several people who struggle with anorexia, and I can see how it affects their behaviour.

 

Anyways, I felt very nauseous yesterday, and felt like I was going to throw up. Of course I didn’t, because I have a rather strong stomach, and eventually had to force myself to, by sticking my fingers down my throat. After that, I felt fine the remainder of the day, if a tad bit hungry.

 

Fast forward to this morning, and all I can think about is just how much I’ve eaten today (two sandwiches), and it’s terrifying me. All I can think about, every time I walk past a restroom is running in there, and getting that garbage out of me as soon as I can.

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