I recently moved in with my boyfriend because my tendencies were getting dangerous. I feel like I am better, but I think it is because I have been living in a daze. I am falling back into my deep thoughts and can’t take it. I thought moving with him will make everything better, but in reality I’m much worse. My mind hurts me more than I physically hurt myself. I don’t want to live, but I am too scared to die.
I need something else in my life. I need more distractions to keep myself alive. Maybe I need a cat.
What helps for you?
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What keeps me from leaving is the hope that at some point I will create or reach something worth remembering, you know?
I often have the feeling that it is especially the kind of “messed up“ people that truely have something to say… go
I dont know if you have any creative hobbies but maybe it could be worth trying. To me, it has always been a small time off, I could just shut out everything for a couple of minutes, just pouring my thoughts on the paper. Even if nobody will ever read it/listen to it, it still is some sort of a saferoom that nobody will ever take away from me.
In spite of that, cats are awesome, you should get one:D each has such a unique peronality and their company can be quite relieving, especially when you dontknow feel like talking or anything…
I always have my journal with me to spend time writing or if I have the impulse to write something down. But lately I’ve just been having my writers block or “creative” block. My writing urge isn’t as strong as it has been recently.
That helps though, thank you. c:
Volunteer work saved me when I needed to fill time and space and feel purpose.
I spent the day volunteering yesterday. It actually made my day better, thank you. I plan on going back next week.
That cat you want? Between 5:00 and 6:00 every morning, my boy cat gets me out of bed. He walks on me, paws at my face, sniffs my ears and licks my head until I surrender and feed him. His feet smell like cat litter, and his final torture is to sit on my chest and stare at me. At fifteen pounds, he gets his point across clearly – “Arise, and prepare my meal, and you will again be able to breathe.”
He’s the greatest.