I just left a very long comment a minute ago but its not showing up. Do comments get moderated for swear words? If so I’m sorry, it was straight from my heart and I can’t remember enough to retype it all, I hope it shows up later.
Swear words are not a problem. If WordPress doesn’t like a word like ***** or ******** it will just display the characters as asterisks. WordPress just gets backed up sometimes.
I need enough money to support my girlfriend and our future children. I need a career that gives me a sense of purpose outside of my family so as not to put all my eggs in one basket. I need a hobby that gives my life meaning in a creative way. And most of all, I need pride, pride in what I have achieved and what I can achieve. No, most of all, I need balance. When, as I am, a person of extremes focuses too much on one aspect of their life, that aspect will inevitably buckle, and then to be left with nothing, then nothing is all that’s left. I don’t desire greatness, I desire connectedness, and pride in that connection to other human beings in a meaningful way.
And yes I am tired. I’m exhausted at keeping it together all the time when the world and its expectations and social constructs and rules and aspirations keeping me under my own worst scrutiny. If its never good enough for myself, how could I ever be good enough for anyone else.
We can’t get what we want because we are our own worst enemies. As cliche as that is, time and time again, I have EVERYTHING going for me. Amazing opportunities, and time and time again, I find a way to mess everything up. And for what? Well you tell me. As far as I’ve come deep down I sometimes still don’t believe I deserve to be happy. And if I don’t love myself can I truly love another? That remains to be seen. Sorry if this doesn’t make sense I’ve been in a strange mood this week.
Overall knowing what I need would be nice… Usually just seem to stumble on it, moments or ideas.
Stability. Motivation. Better/different tools and/or better knowledge of them. More patience.
8 comments
I just left a very long comment a minute ago but its not showing up. Do comments get moderated for swear words? If so I’m sorry, it was straight from my heart and I can’t remember enough to retype it all, I hope it shows up later.
Swear words are not a problem. If WordPress doesn’t like a word like ***** or ******** it will just display the characters as asterisks. WordPress just gets backed up sometimes.
I need enough money to support my girlfriend and our future children. I need a career that gives me a sense of purpose outside of my family so as not to put all my eggs in one basket. I need a hobby that gives my life meaning in a creative way. And most of all, I need pride, pride in what I have achieved and what I can achieve. No, most of all, I need balance. When, as I am, a person of extremes focuses too much on one aspect of their life, that aspect will inevitably buckle, and then to be left with nothing, then nothing is all that’s left. I don’t desire greatness, I desire connectedness, and pride in that connection to other human beings in a meaningful way.
And yes I am tired. I’m exhausted at keeping it together all the time when the world and its expectations and social constructs and rules and aspirations keeping me under my own worst scrutiny. If its never good enough for myself, how could I ever be good enough for anyone else.
We can’t get what we want because we are our own worst enemies. As cliche as that is, time and time again, I have EVERYTHING going for me. Amazing opportunities, and time and time again, I find a way to mess everything up. And for what? Well you tell me. As far as I’ve come deep down I sometimes still don’t believe I deserve to be happy. And if I don’t love myself can I truly love another? That remains to be seen. Sorry if this doesn’t make sense I’ve been in a strange mood this week.
,,,,full moon in 2 nights,,,,
Overall knowing what I need would be nice… Usually just seem to stumble on it, moments or ideas.
Stability. Motivation. Better/different tools and/or better knowledge of them. More patience.
Tired overall, but not at the moment
I need lots of power tools and the strength and skill to use them. And I’m always tired!
i just need one chance to make my own choice in my life … just one