what does this word even mean? I guarantee 99.9% of happy people aren’t truly happy they’ve just accepted everything in there life and decide sure I’m happy but deep down they’re miserable too.
To anyone who knows me irl I’m one of the happiest, funniest, off the wall weird and corky people ever. I smile a lot I laugh even more. I put on this show to be happy just so everyone around me is happy. It’s exhausting. But any time I’m alone all I can do is be sad. And I fill that sad with men. Or I did up until about a month ago. about a month ago I got roofied and it’s messing with me more than it should. Because I’m legit missing 4 hours of my life. I mentally came to 4 hours after leaving the bar driving in my car and that in its self angers me because no matter how drunk I get I NEVER drive anymore I actually pre order my Uber before I go out and my Uber showed up but I wasn’t there when she did. Aside from that I had a lump on my head bruises everywhere and I was bleeding down there. And I’m so mad about it because I’m a hoe I will put out there is no need to drug me and rape me. I’ve been raped a lot actually and it pisses me off it’s part of the reason I became a hoe cause you can’t rape the willing, but apparently you can with drugs.
I’m so tired of this life I’m tired of making everyone around me happy just to go home and be miserable. Why can’t I just say screw it and just end it? Why do I have to suffer to make others happy. Ugh. Ok end the stupid rant this is the only place I can actually get all my feelings out without being judged. Thanks for reading