why is that everyone in my life leaves some how some way, even the ones that didn’t choose to or they fuck me over to the point I wish they’d leave. I’m the type of person who’s 95% of the time going through some shit myself but if I seen someone who needed a friend or someone to listen, regardless if I knew them or not, i’d listen and help to the best of my abilities. If my friend called me upset it would take me less than 30 minutes to leave my house and drive over to theirs. If my friend needed a ride somewhere or just wanted company i’d be there. If they had a bad day and needed to rant and needed someone to just agree and listen and tell them they’re okay and that they’re not the bad guy I’d be that person for them without a problem. All of this is the reason I realized I don’t necessarily hate myself, I hate the life I’m living. All I ever needed/wanted was just someone to hang out, go out shopping with, rely on them if I needed someone to talk to if I’m upset, simple things like that. But for some reason everytime I’ve ever had a person like that they got taken out of my life one way or another ( most are due to reasons such as moving away). This has been my issue since I was probably 12 years old. As the years go by I’m getting lonelier and losing hope that i’ll ever just find one quality person to have in my life. I’m sick of losing people. I’m sick of constantly staying in the house because I don’t have people to make plans with. Senior year is supposed to be fun and I don’t even want to go to prom or graduation or anything. My life right now actually sucks and if college isn’t better for me I honestly can say I don’t know what i’ll be come or what will happen to me.
2 comments
Oh my, have you got a surprise on the horizon. College is a whole other world and nothing like public schooling. Public schooling is the same group of kids crammed together for over a decade that inevitably marinates into a culturally homogenous environment. College is rife with people from all walks of life. You will almost certainly find another person or group that resonates with you there, take my word for it.
thank you i sure hope so its almost all I got left to look forward to