Goin to miss my friends

I’ve been a prostitute most of my life, and I can’t escape it. I’m too hardened and damaged. Just ready to end it so bad. I wake up everyday really depressed and unable to function. I’m pretty old too, so it’s not like I can just start over. I have lots of suicidal ideation especially when I first get up and b4 bed. I do have a few friends I will miss and my cat who lives with a friend because I was forced to move do to the complications that arise with my line of work. The main issue is how will I do it. I feel bad not saying anything to friends too. Not super close friends but people who have normal lives that I see or talk to occasionally. I’m embarrassed to still be a prostitute at 41 lol! But u get used to doing something so long and that’s all u know after so long.