i’ve never really done this before.
& i guess i don’t really know why i’m doing this now. i just need an outlet.
i lost my best friend, my love, my everything; & the worst part is they’re still alive.
so it’s not like they died it’s just they didn’t want me anymore. i don’t even want myself anymore.
every night i plea to whatever is out there to please make it easier on me & just allow me no never wake up.that, would save me a lot of trouble, and even more thinking.
or maybe i’ll get lucky & just die of a broken heart first.
8 comments
I’m in a similar position, though opposite. I have rough mornings… Because I have no distractions, and I hate the fact that I’m staring down another day. I had to push away a friend of mine that I was in love with. They have a good life, good friends, amazing potential and future. They told me they were in love with one of my best friends. Seeing the love of my life with someone else, I always imagined I could bear silently, so long as they were happy. But added on top of recent events, I just couldn’t stand continuing to talk to them. I have no idea how to process any of that~ only to carry it around as dead weight. But all together, it was more than I could do. So, I pushed them away. The person I love most in the world. I said it would be better if they never tried to talk to me again.
I’d like to be able to end it all in the future. But, my life isn’t my own, and I don’t want to harm others. So, here I am. Another morning. Another day.
I feel both or your pain. It’s tough, I think most people find distractions work but what happens when you have noone to save you on that moment? And the anxiety and sadness build up. Chances are when we ask someone to leave we have reasons.
i feel you both. i’ve felt very alone for while & now on top of it all i have lost him. i have nothing to distract me. it’s exhausting to be awake
It’s a risk to take when dating your best friend. I never really took this in until the very same thing happened to me. Fell-head-over-heels too fast and was used. It hurt for ages. I felt like I was never going to recover from it. Turned to alcohol. Looked for attention from people I hardly knew. It was terrible.
Now it’s 2018 and I hardly think about him anymore. I learned not to as I don’t want to. One thing is for certain, I’ll never date another close-friend without considering the risks. Don’t fall in love too quickly because if/when anything does happen you’ll be able to overcome it quicker and there’ll be less damage taken to the friendship itself.
I think this all the time.
My heart stopped beating the other day and I’ve been really sick for about 2 years..
I think I may be just approaching physical death – but I have had my suicide planned since last March.. I’m finally about there I just need about 800$
If I don’t die from ail I may need to use it…
I think I may be approaching physical death so I am getting rid of all personal items.
I expect I may die suddenly of cardiac arrest otherwise I have a month dependingly
update: i have asked if he’s
open to a break & he’s told me no. he doesn’t want me anymore. i don’t know how to live with knowing i’m the one who pushed him
away. he still loves me. i still love him. and yet that is not enough.
You’re lucky to have had what you did. It hurts, it sucks. It destroys you, your life, your love, your dreams. But, he made up his mind. It’s time to move on. You don’t need to immediately; but you should atleast start a slow walk forward while you continue to dwell on your recent past.
Take your time, but keep moving.
Broken hearts suck it’s like self torture to think about it. After a while you’ll wish you could just stop having feelings