Should I make it look like an accident?

I lost my job in December. Since then, I’ve sent out dozens of resumes and haven’t gotten a call back. My savings are running out and debt is starting to mount up. My anxiety has gotten so bad that when I travelled to see my mom on Mother’s Day, I spent the whole trip worrying that there would be a fire that would kill my cat. In fact, I worry that the cat won’t come back every time it goes outside. I’m thinking of taking a camping trip and just… Not coming back from it. I’m not allowed to talk about methods. But I wrestling with whether or not I should make my death look like an accident. I have life insurance and if my death is ruled accidental, my family might get a payout. But they also might not because of my drinking. Also, trying to make my death look like an accident would lower the odds of successful suicide. But an obvious suicide guarantees my family won’t get a payout. Any thoughts?