OCD: A Cruel Joke

  July 6th, 2018 by ShiSui

Have you ever heard of this type of obsession?

My obsession is about constantly questioning my sincerity of what I say, do, and think. I’m really bad with examples but it’s pretty much fixating on my intent towards almost everything, whether that intent was sincere or if I’m just faking it. I can’t convince myself otherwise I just keep doubting and obsessing if I’m doing/saying/thinking something for the reason I initially intended. Idk how to explain it any further because I’m obsessing whether this is a sincere post with the intent being to find others like me or if I’m just looking for attention. That’s really the alternate thought “am I just looking for attention” that makes me question my sincerity. AND THIS IS BUT ONE OF MY OBSESSIONS!

Now I know why people with OCD are 10 times more likely to commit suicide than any other mental illness.

God damn. It just hijacks your entire being and imprisons it on your head while you scream in silence with no one able to hear you. And the fucking thoughts happen in milliseconds leading you through infinite rabbit holes that have no end and give you no answer so you’ll always be back at square one ready to do it again tomorrow. Cognition is gone, depersonalization seeps in since your in your head for so long what’s you take a look at the outside world it’s unfamiliar, FUCK!!! Just fuck, like what’s the point?

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