A year ago i was at this same point thinking life is meaningless and that i should just end it all, but now a year later i can confirm that, the last year i had spent in a relatioship, i didnt feel pointless and my life was meaningless because i had love, but i was still depressed, ive turned to drugs and that the only way i feel normal, i dont do hard drugs just yet but i can tell i will one day soon….. i want to give up on life completely, ive quit going to school and its at the end of year 12 im still enrolled just never attend im failing in every aspect in life i have nothing to keep living for, i hate this world i want to get doped up and forget i ever even existed or just die…… im not at the point of suicide yet but ive been there many times before even going to the emergency room at the hospital i dont want to continue livin, everyone is a pointless person so it just doesn’t fucking matter. Ive tried giving my self a reason in life i bought a plant, its kinda helping i enjoy looking at it and seeing it growing, but a plant isnt gonna save me from suicide.
I FUCKING HATE waking up in the morning and just feeling the anxiety depression adn sadness hit me at once!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i know im not gonna last much longer in life, DIE YOUNGxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
4 comments
Oh… 🙁
It’s too bad you’re so close to graduation but you want to die…
Do you not have any dreams or think you can achieve them? I haven’t really done anything myself… I’ve been trying to find myself and what to believe in and distract myself with hobbies to make up for that though… I’d probabky find a way to do that even if I did have something…
If you got a plant and like that though it kind of feels like you amd me shluld share the same dream, to live in anarchic world free from society, living in nature…
I know I’ve said I kind of want to be a therapist but the truth is that I actually have multiple dreams, big dreams, and it’s hard to focus on a single one ans they all seem like good ideas.
Sometimes I want to live in a more humble and liberal world focusing more on science and athiesm without political factions, and at lesst settle down in a small town, maybe move to Japan some day and finally lesrn the language or something (visiting other countries at least could be cool, I’d want a lot of souvenirs and photos, maybe even a little bit of currency. Currency from around the world! :3)
Living in a small town or the countryside would be my compromise between nature and society… sometimes I want to abandon society completelt becsuse it feels so alien and demanding and I don’t relate well to people…
But then I get scared of dying easily out there and don’t truly want to be alone, I just want to find someone who gets me…
Sorry for making this long, but…
It would be nice if live in a nicd cabin if yoy like plants and have pretty much dropped out, if there’s not a way or even motivation to go back and succeed…
That is the kind of world i would like to live in, where we can express our hidden primal instincts and express all emotion at no cost, the sad part about what you said is i do live in that prescribed location and it doesn’t help one bit and makes me feel distance and irrelevant. I live on a farm with no near neighbours beautiful green paddocks but nothing that cheers me up.
I’m in Year 12 too. I hate school so much. It would’ve been good but the people at school are shit. I have lost movitation and I’m just coasting through school. My attendance is bad, so if I somehow manage to pass my classes, I’ll still fail. I’ve started drinking alcohol because I don’t care anymore.. just going to finish this year.. well I’ll try. Only 4 months left til I get out of this hellhole. I suggest to see what happens. I’ve also been given advice to take a gap year and travel, apparently you get a new perspective of things…
My attendance is awful and i barely complete assignments, but i go to such a stuck up private school that I’m the only one going through it, and i get looked down upon so much. I know I’m smarter than most the people but i just dont feel like trying. Im thinking about starting drinking because weed does do anything for me anymore because i smoke so often.. I feel 0 comfort because im the only person like this i know, every person who i know has finished recently have moved on to be successes. How does one even fund a gap year, after having no money because i spend it all and dont work.