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Suicidal again.

by strawberrycrown
written by strawberrycrown

For quite some time I’ve been really quite happy. I haven’t been thinking about negative things and I’ve been having fun too. But then I started feeling more left out at school again and starting to feel lonely or like I’m missing a person in my life. It’s 11:30pm and I’m very tired. I have to wake up in 7 hours then go to school. Im dreading this so much because of things that have been happening and how my friendships are AGAIN becoming more distant. One thing about me, is that I physically can’t deal with being lonely and being excluded – and that is exactly what is beginning to happen to me again. It’s been a struggle to let alone deal with whats happening, but also hard to put on a face to everyone. I’ve been doing so well in school too and I’m really heading on the right track but when I’m sad and lonely like this, I can’t focus and I don’t have any motivation. It just really sucks because sometimes I’m happy and then other times I’m suicidal again…

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4 comments

WanderingDreamer91 7/31/2018 - 11:15 am

Well, you got friends here. 🙂

Maybe you can make up with your old friends or even make new friends? 😕

Also, yeah, I get that waking up early for anything like school or work can be exhausting if not the thing itself…

It feels kind if unnatural to wake up before the sun has properly risen in my opinion. :p

strawberrycrown 8/9/2018 - 3:53 am

Thanks 🙂 but also, I dont think there are any new friends to make ive tried them all. And I agree, like is it really day time if its still dark?

HollowBoi 8/1/2018 - 10:51 am

It sucks to be an extrovert, dreading for friendship suffering from isolation. I don’t completely understand why everyone desperately want a friend, i’ve been living alone for quite sometime now, people would introduce themselves, then they will want to now you next thing you know you’re surrounded by noise wanting to be your friend its not that i dont like friends but i want sometime alone. Eventually i realize that isolation is still the best.

strawberrycrown 8/9/2018 - 3:54 am

Yes, alone time and peace and quiet can be great, but maybe I need friends to make it so I can’t hear my own thoughts.

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