for a year and a half i was in black hole. trying to do something with my life and hating myself with all my heart but then my mom saw my scars and i planned to kill myself but i couldn’t. coward.. i started prrtending that everything is okay with me and for a few months i was okay. not happy but okay. i woke up every day and i was okay with myself. i even met someone but it fadeed away because i am stupid. i was okay with my ugly face. it is a great feeling when you wake up and don’t have the urge to chop yourself in tiny pieces…
and now i think i am falling in that black hole again and i am scared and i don’t have anyone to talk to. i don’t have friends. i am so lonely. i am a failure. and sometimes i want to self-harm again but i can’t because i couldn’t stop and everyone in my family are like why are you wearing long sleeves in summer.
i am so ugly and disgusting. and i wanna die. but thrn i feel like i don’t deserve it because a lot of people are in pain but still living or died but didn’t want to (young people). i’m sorry…
8 comments
“I wear long sleeves because they are just more comfortable”
“It’s 104 degrees outside”
“… Still comfortable”
Guilt is very common and its a cycle. Try to not feel bad about feeling bad if that makes sense. Although I am a hypocrite there
i always say that. but thank you :))
my “friend” tried to roll up my sleeve because she is convinced i am hiding something and i am really sick of people. why she can’t mind her own business..
and i am trying not to feel guilty but there is that voice and idk
Do you think she wants to help you or just yell at you for your cutting? 🙁
Sometimes I find myself not having much variety of clothes but I mainly have short sleeve shirts but if I ever had too many long sleeve shirts instead I’d probably wesr those because I have nothing else. :p
I didn’t think their might be people who wear long sleeve shirts when it’s hot that self-harm. 🙁
It makes me wonder what it would be like to reach out to them…
well, i think she would make fun of me because she is telling me all the time how ugly i am and hoe i don’t have any right to be depressed
i don’t want to wear but i have to. my father didn’t see the scars, he would have killed me a long time ago. and in my country people wouldn’t understand.
i am not ashamed of my scars but i don’t want people to stare at me and ask me what happened. it is too much. i don’t know. i’m sorry ?
it’s gonna be fine.
don’t worry.
there are other people like you.
I’ve wanted kill myself a long time ago. couldn’t find the courage either. I’ve already cut myself too. I’m also wearing long sleeves at all times. even when it’s 40°c.
don’t be scared. don’t be scared of being alone. instead, take pride in it for it is a strength.
toxic thoughts. that’s what depression really is. pay no attention to these thoughts. ignore them. they are lies. don’t let these thoughts make you feel low about yourself.
and even if you say you’re ugly, I bet my soul someone does find you beautiful.
besides, you can’t choose your appearance and you can’t change it. you shouldn’t dwell on things that can’t be changed. that’s a never ending cycle.
also, could you be from romania?
thank you. and i am sorry to hear that you are in a similar situation. it can be frustrating sometimes to wear long sleeves when it’s hot, can’t it?
i’m not from romania. but i am from serbia, if you heard. that is beside romania 🙂