Nothing Changes or Is It All?

  September 17th, 2018 by IrrationalLion

No matter where I am shitty people always find their way into my life. That part doesn’t change. What will change is the way I handle that. I used to think the old people in my life who fucked me over, all the people who were jealous,I now realize, and secretly wanted me to do bad, and all the people who simply didn’t care enough to stick around, were in my life because I had been in that town so long and so they knew me and the old me wouldn’t stick up for myself enough to kick them the fuck out of my life and let them get away with what they were doing. I was wrong for thinking they were there just because I had been there for so long. I’ve been in my new town for a month now and already the person Im closest to let her feelings slip this weekend as we were drunk and probably thinks I don’t recall or doesn’t recall herself. While we were drinking having a good time she brought up a situation and told everyone around us that basically she was better physically than me and told them a story from the gym that simply wasn’t true. I could tell within a week after knowing her pretty well by her social media, she’s a little insecure about herself because the person she is on social media isn’t the person she is in real life. Like the pictures she posts in clothes she doesn’t even wear and the things she posts. Me being me I picked up on those things but of course in my mind I felt bad for her and wanted her to gain real confidence in real life not just on social media because I thought she was a good person. I even told myself id compliment her more so she’s knows she is beautiful. Well yep thats the difference between us I see now. She likes to tear her friends down to make herself feel better while that wasn’t my intentions at all for our friendship. So to conclude no matter where I am it appears I can’t get close to people the way I want to because people really aren’t shit. I absolutely will not tolerate being a good friend and putting in effort into a friendship where the other person thinks they can get away with shit just because I’m a genuinely caring person who may come off as a push over. Theres the change. Im fucking done letting people assume I’m nice enough to get what they want from me because in reality I can turn into bigger ***** than most people would expect from me. From now on I’m going to be doing me so she can fuck off and anyone else who comes my way who thinks they can also pull one over me for their own benefit can also fuck off I’m actually done. People like them have made my life hell already and I’m just done with it so its time to distance myself.

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