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Downhill

by ravingbean

I don’t know how to feel. I cut myself for the first time in a year and a half. Just a few slices with a knife, but a barrier has been broken.  I want to be better. Or dead. I’m tired of this bullshit.

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axxxxxl 11/17/2018 - 9:58 pm

I know my reply might not help at all, but I’m hoping that somewhere it strikes a cord, just a small cord, but a cord to help you. Please just try even more than you’ve ever had before. I know it’s said a hundred times and probably more and I don’t know if it works for you or not, but people do care. People you’ve never met, people you’ve met just once, or somebody that knows you personally, everyone cares, I care. I care a lot. I’ve read this so many times and every time it makes my throat hurt and it makes me feel like I’ve been sliced too. I promise it gets better, life moves on and things make a turn for the better. There’s a lot of bumps and hills, but it does, trust me. I want you to stay alive, even if it hurts, because I promise you, things are going to get better, it’s going to be better. If it’s tomorrow or years from now, you’ll be happy. Please be patient because one-day everything is going to be better, I promise. Please stay alive.

Cause of Death: Suicide 11/17/2018 - 10:55 pm

If you think you can get better than try but I’ve always been considered highly intelligent and I know the only thing that can make it better (at least in my case) is death.
But I’ve never wanted to get better, because there really is no such thing as better (at least in my case) I’m surrounded by trigger happy wh*res that hate lesbians so they want to put me in jail forever so I can rot to death in a jail cell

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