I just would prefer to spiral than be angry, but I know that spiralling through depression is unhealthy. I have LIMITLESS stores of energy and all of them are expressed as hatred.
So here is the rant, to get out, as if it mattered:
I hate other people. Not dogmatically of course, my religion is actually to love others. It is that desire to love that is so frustrated as others are so determined to undermine any assumption I have that they intend to do good in the world.
Every day I have to try and transform the pain causing actions to understandable mistakes.
Around every corner new incompetence and evidence of failure are waiting for me to clean, to bring to a standard of function.
Why is that my job? Why is there NO STANDARDIZING BODY IN THE PROFESSIONAL WORLD?!
We can grade fruit by quality. Our measurements are all standardized so they match and are precise. Yet, humans with all their ability fail so utterly at creating a standard of human performance.
This is why education will ALWAYS fail. No one can agree on a standard. There’s no blasted hope for a planet full of people who would rather think they are right than actually be right.
Everyone on this frustrating planet lets ego run their world. I don’t just have to get over my own ego, I’ve got to fix issues caused by others.
I’m not even working on what I want to.
That’s why I’m suicidal right now, because I want to be the best I can be, but the work of the job involves either isolating myself away from sabotaging influences
1 comment
The good thing about it is that at some point, ego will be our demise. Hell, we’re already on our way, but the universe works slowly. Give it time. We’re doing ourselves in, and soon we’ll be gone. Noone will really miss us, just another clumsy, goofy species, come and gone.