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And I am not even drinking alcohol anymore,

For how long will I live in this mind and body,

a slave to a genetic structure I am not allowed,

to destroy I tried once with the original intention to die but I panic I took the wrong sleeping pills or I didn’t take enough sleeping pills, damnit there is no one in this world willing to kill me not even myself.

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flutterby 12/30/2018 - 12:23 pm

Maybe there is one to help you live.

When I would get stuck in my thoughts or feelings I will sing songs to myself. Made up songs. I get silly and try to laugh so I say some crazy shit lol. Anything to distract myself.

Turn on something that will create a little static noise and meditate.

After so much practice controlling my thoughts its no longer a problem.

I do this with my emotions as well.
I still get depressed and angry etc. but when I do I can recognize it and let it go with a laugh.

There’s no real reason to get upset unless you really want to and I never really liked being upset.

CrypticVeins 12/31/2018 - 6:16 am

“a slave to a genetic structure I am not allowed,”
Couldnt put it any better.

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