Every day after i leave school, (3 times a week), I go to this little pizza place. It’s pretty good and it’s cheap and it’s quiet. And I usually eat my food and just drink their mango black tea. And drink more of their mango black tea. And just stare at the table as if I’m in a bar and I’m trying to forget my worries. Sometimes I stay for over an hour after I eat, just trying to loose myself.
The girl that always rings me up has started calling me her depressed customer friend. Friday, when I walked in, she waved me over instantly and asked, “your usual sir? And would you like me to hold the long island in your iced tea?” I didn’t get it at first so I just stared. But then my slow mind flipped the words into its proper meaning and I laughed. And she looked shocked. “Wow,” she said. “That’s the first time I’ve seen you smile.” She slid my 2 slices over to me. “You should do it more often.”
I know they won’t spit the money to her like I would prefer, but regardless, I slipped a 20 into the tip jar before I left, when she wasn’t at the desk.
Does anyone else here have a place that they go, in which they go to forgot or to just “be away”? Even though I’ve never drank before, im starting to realize why late drinking at the bar exists. It’s nice. The world isn’t moving at 1000 miles an hour, and I can just be alone, and let my thoughts calm down. At least for a little while.
(This post is really why I wrote my previous post about stray sheep. Since Catherine takes place mostly in a bar)
5 comments
I like your post
I had a place, it was mexican in an antique mall, on a sunday Id make a run to the comic and sci-fi book store, then I’d go there, sit outside, drink ice tea and eat flan and smoke for 4 or 5 hrs while reading. I loved it. Sadly I moved to a place where no resturant like that exists…
The library. Obviously not for the drinking, but it’s just an escape. People sitting around doing library stuff, no pressure, no expectations, books, electronic media, a convenience store two blocks away. And, of course, it’s pretty quiet, except for that one nimtwit with the loud voice that spends an hour or two calling every insurance company in town for quotes, oblivious to the “silence please ” rule.
There was never a physical place for me – I’d only escape through the worlds of books, art and music.
Nowadays I can’t concentrate long enough to read books and I sort of given up art.
Music is all I have, and it’s currently keeping my mood from shifting into depression. Of course, the song I’m listening to is confusing the hell outta me. The lyrics sounds like it’s about a pink d*ldo.
Yes I have a place like you described, a dark little pub “where everybody knows your name”. But I can never go back. Like you, I was content being an enigma for a long time. Then one day the bartender made a familiar, friendly comment and I was obliged to smile and make small talk. One of the waitresses joined in the conversation and it became an actual social interaction.
And that’s precisely why I never went back. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, that’s great for you. But some of us might understand, we’re just too broken and toxic to ever exist in society. Breezy conversations, little jokes and sharing smiles with strangers is just a prelude to disaster as we have proven time and time again. Time to find myself another dark pub where nobody knows who I am.