It has been an absolute long time since I have been on here. And I successfully avoided coming back here for a long time because I kept lying to myself by saying I am not depressed, I have no problems, and that I have no reason to end up back here. Well that was a fucking lie. Truth is I am in fucking denial. I walk around daily with a fake ass smile on my face and my chin to the sky making it seem like I have confidence and happiness. Truth is I am fucking pathetic. Honestly, I am just really fucking drunk and pissed. I have finally made an effort to meet people, talk to girls I am interested in, and make myself look like a regular guy; but in the end, I am still this pathetic excuse of an adult wearing a mask to make myself seem like I have my shit together. Honestly, I am just mad because I did what I always do, I fell in love to easily. And she is real pretty and actually in my age group too so it is a damn shame. But I have to be the way I am. I have to allow shit like this to happen, don’t I. I need to escape.
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3 comments
Welcome back to the land of the in between.
interesting, let’s see you didn’t like the way you were so you changed into someone your not? then starting talking to girls leading the to believe you were someone your not? then hooked up with one of them and now you don’t enjoy being someone your not, and you did all of this in name of getting a girl by false presences? YOUR MY FUCKING HERO!!!!
Just joking, I think you may have learned a lesson, never be someone else, don’t change for anyone, and don’t lie about anything.
That’s the way I am, I go out of my way to let them know all my habits, notice I didn’t say bad habits, i don’t think there bad, and if they do think there bad, i don’t want them around me anyways!
Nothing wrong with coming back most people do SP is addicting good place to vent good place to get advice and a good place give it.
I know how you feel. I know it sucks. I’m mad too and I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m tired of trying and trying and trying and never getting to see the results. Life fucking sucks, always.