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I love you Hooks.

by Once

March 2, 2012 – May 1, 2019

My little boy. Seven years was all we got together. I hoped and dreamed for more, but no, that can’t happen.

I will miss you eternally, Taco. Handsome-Perfect. Boogie. Bug. Hooks.

You changed my life, little boy. You taught me how to love, when noone else could.  You showed me what love feels like, when others failed. You are love. You are my eternal friend, my little kitty.

I’ll miss you from today until a time when whatever I am can no longer exist in any form, and then far, far beyond that.  I love you so much.

You’re my heart and my soul, my love and my life. You’re my world.

I have to give you back now.

Rest, little boy. I miss you. I love you. I love you.

 

 

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21 comments

Delusional-Happiness 5/1/2019 - 9:37 am

The perfect nonjudgmental companions.
Beautiful post; and sorry for your loss <3.

Once 5/2/2019 - 12:02 am

Thanks Delusional Happiness. Nonjudgmental. Yes, absolute unconditional love, except when I tried to make him eat dry food. Yeah. Then he wasn’t so loving. Oh well.

Rainwatch 5/1/2019 - 9:59 am

With you as his owner Once there is no doubt ” hooks” led a very happy, contented life. May he R.I.P.

Once 5/2/2019 - 12:00 am

I like to think he had a good life. (He did.) Its what he did for me that I’ll never be able to forget. A cat. A silly little cat. Chuckle.

Cygnus 5/1/2019 - 11:09 am

I hope you will not mind me saying (writing, whatever) this, but I do not mean to be patronizing. I am sorry for your loss, and for your kitty’s loss of his life, for the pain you and he have gone through and that which you are still feeling.

Sometimes I save photographs of cats that humans uploaded to the Internet. I saved your cat’s photograph because he is beautiful.

My favorite kitty color scheme, or whatever, is the gray and black tabby with yellow mixed in across the belly, chest, and face. I don’t know if that is a tortoise shell tabby or what, but I like that coloration very much. I guess it may be because I had three with those colors, not that I loved any of the others any less.

One of them was named Duplicat. She looked like her mother. One time she and Smudge and I moved to a new apartment. I kept them inside for a few days as usual to help them understand that we lived there. And then one night we went outside. When it came time for me to leave for work, they just would not come inside. They refused to let me catch them and bring them inside. Catching them was not something I ever needed to do before. They were both almost ten years old by then, so I was surprised by their unwillingness to cooperate. I would have just stayed out there to wait for them till they were ready to come inside, but eventually I had to go to work.

When I came home in the morning, only Smudge was there, waiting in the oleanders. She came running up after I got out of the car. Duplicat was a homing cat, or whatever. She had gone home before twice, two miles through rural terrain. There wasn’t any way she could have made it back this time though. I never made them wear collars with tags. I couldn’t find her, and no one could telephone to say they found her. She was just gone. Crying again now.

A few years later, the veterinarian gave Smudge a shot to put her to sleep while I held her. He said she was just old, but I couldn’t help thinking that if I had more money, if I wasn’t a loser, I couldn’t have afforded to help her.

Back in November of 2016, someone posted a topic thing here called “Top 10 Reasons People Commit Suicide” or something like that. Those who posted reply comments added to the list beginning with 11 or they listed the numbers from 1 to 10 that applied to them. I listed the numbers that applied to me, typing the number for guilt many times. That’s what I feel the most guilty about, what happened to Duplicat and Smudge and other cats who lived with me whose health and safety I did not do as good of a job as I could have done to protect.

I hope you will be all right.

Once 5/1/2019 - 11:37 pm

We do what we think is best for them at the time. Sometimes it’s not always right. Don’t beat yourself up, or try not to anyways. Duplicat is a great name, and there’s not a lot you can do when a cat makes up their mind. Sorry you never got to see her again. I can only imagine the sense of helplessness.

LoveDogs 5/1/2019 - 11:35 am

Our 4 legged companions make this crappy world bearable to live in.
I am very sorry for the loss of your little boy.

Once 5/1/2019 - 11:38 pm

Definitely so. Somedays they’re the difference between sanity and otherwise.

spookichick 5/1/2019 - 11:40 am

i am so sorry for your loss, once, truly. it amazes me just how precious a feline companion can be for some humans. it sounds like you and your little boy had a very special relationship, and your memories of you and he will keep his spirit alive forever. xoxox

Once 5/1/2019 - 11:39 pm

Thank you spookichick. He was my child!

rivets 5/1/2019 - 6:00 pm

I’m sorry. 🙁 Losing a cat is the worst.

Once 5/1/2019 - 11:43 pm

Yup. Thanks Rivets. It isn’t fun.

rocketman 5/1/2019 - 8:22 pm

I had 4 now down to 2, took the boy to the vet today to get snipped, thought he’d hate me! i brought him home and he is all over me, yeah sad when they go but if you go they go first, who would care for them?

Once 5/1/2019 - 11:47 pm

Thanks for getting him snipped. That’s totally responsible. I have one remaining cat, she’s actually Hooks ‘ mother. Four would be too many for me I think.

BehindDeadEyes 5/1/2019 - 8:44 pm

Our furry friends never get enough time. My first two dogs only made it to age 7. The first one died of lymphoma. The second one had a rupture from an enlarged heart. My cat prior to my one I have now was in renal failure for the last 3 years of his life. Built an IV stand and and gave him Ringers lactate every other day. But I’ll always cherish what time I did have with them, and I’ll do it all over again with a new furry friend. As somebody else already said, I’m sure with you having taken care of him, he had the best life possible. I’m truly sorry for your loss.

Once 5/1/2019 - 11:53 pm

That’s real dedication to your cat. Thanks for showing him that kind of love.

Once 5/1/2019 - 10:16 pm

I got to be with Hooks today as he (wow) died.

Difficult to say that.

It was peaceful for him. Thanks to everyone for your kind words.

a1957 5/1/2019 - 10:25 pm

I am moved as I read this story, see that sweet cat face, read these kind of words of empathy. Not even once, in my life, has the loss of a human been as hard as the loss of a cat.

Once 5/1/2019 - 11:57 pm

Isn’t that odd? The power they can have over us. And there are those who think of them as “just” animals. They’re much, much more.

shatterediris 5/2/2019 - 12:46 am

I wish I was good at consoling. Cats are hard to lose. 🙁

Once 5/2/2019 - 8:42 am

Thanks Shatterediris. I appreciate your comment. They are such good friends.

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