ugh life lately for me has been so rough. I’m 19 years old and my family thinks they can control what I do and it makes me so mad. Like I’m doing a babysitting job right now and the guy had left his job so I got laid off for a bit which is okay for me but apparently to my dad I need to find another job because its wrong even though once he gets another job he’s going to hire me back which is what I told my dad and he just doesn’t understand he thinks that I will quit on the family is like no dad I didn’t quit my job just laid off for a while till he finds work well my dad has been on my case for the past week saying I need to find another job and hes pushing me to work with his girlfriend and I really don’t want to and I’ve been telling him that and he just doesn’t understand my point of view its stressful for me because I thought your dad is to be there for you not push you to do something you don’t want to do you know its wrong in my opinion I also feel like he only wants me to get another job so I can start giving money to him for cigs or for part of the vehicles we have or just for what ever they need and it sucks because I try and say no but I’m bad guy if I don’t it makes me want to self harm again because being pressured in the first place and with my depression is what started my self harm and its like with my dad if i want to hang with friends or go somewhere over over night I cant because of my sisters or my dads girlfriend working at nights its like its not my kids I didn’t have them they did and its always me I’m saving everything I got so I can get the hell out of here because if I stay I will end up snapping again or doing self harm again ugh why cant I live my own life my way.
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Good Luck getting out of there, I was in a similar situation (not exactly) that I desperately needed to leave when I was your age. It has been 6 years about and it only has gotten worse for me, I never was able to get away when I needed to. Before I used to think maybe if I didn’t commit suicide, I would have to just move out and cease all contact with the people that made me suicidal to begin with…. and that would have made it OK. But they just started abusing me more and I could never leave, else I was threatened. I get what you are saying it’s like you can’t be yourself or have your own life at all.
I have a job now like how you explained and they want you to take all the money just to pay for their things. Cars, etc. You know what after they had supported me I have no problem to help. But honestly, I just hope I can help as much as I can and then commit suicide because my life has no meaning anymore (well, for me it never has and I’ve been ready and waiting to commit for 15 years.)
Flames, of, water
Like, running, on the water
Brought, out, broad, out
The messenger, whipped
That, within, these.,
Three, days; “Wartortle, Waah-tortle!”