I finally ready your letter sent last July. It got misplaced before I even knew it had arrived. My mom found it yesterday morning so I finally got to see what you sent. I finally got to see your response. I finally got to see why you addressed it from Jane Doe instead of your actual name.
First of all, don’t apologize for “being the reason I felt pain.” That is not your fault, it is mine. I felt pain because of the feelings I used to have for you. I felt pain because, for some odd reason, I could not move on for a long time. Don’t ever think that any of this was your fault.
I am relieved to have finally read that letter. I was a bit sad to hear that the dream you had was, as you wrote, heart-wrenching. I can’t help but feel responsible for leaving you feeling that way. After the last letter I sent you, I wondered how you felt about it and I always told me self (or led myself to believe) that you also began to feel happier and that it did not affect you just so I don’t feel guilt. Anyways, I am relieved to finally have gotten a chance to read the letter. It was kind of like my question was answered and my curiosity was entertained.
I am thankful you understand my reason for making the decision to stop any future contact. I am thankful for your friendship. I am thankful for all the memories (my good memory can be a gift and a curse, I admire the fact that you were able to forget a lot of things back then). I also hope that that wasn’t goodbye forever. I also hope that, one day, the universe does bring us together in someway. That day would be a nice day.