this is it my guys

Ya I’m at an odds… I’ve been working for two years hoping to save up enough money to buy a shotgun. I’ve been sexually assaulted or raped (out of the blue) surprisingly a lot in the last 3 years (100 or more times). I was just raped actually last night, so no doubt about it that I’m going to kill myself. I just can’t decide if I should wait and go to college (im not going for a degree.. I’m just going for a few classes) or buy a shotgun and kill myself on my next payday.

I’ve been hoping to kill myself since 2006.. I only waited until 2012 because it is illegal here to get a gun until you turn 18… so I was supposed to commit in 2012. I never intended or planned to live past 2012 and I haven’t enjoyed one moment.
I couldn’t afford a shotgun until early 2016 but then I was randomly stalked by people I don’t even know and then That’s when I started getting raped regularly. (I think by people from the anti-suicide, pro-life agenda)

My belief is that it is the owner of the life’s choice how he-she dies. Whether he-she lives a whole life or dies young. Commits or waits 60 years for cancer. Choice or free-will. I would always choose suicide any day of my life. Also I am a devout ATHEIST, so I DO NOT believe in repercussions in the “Afterlife” and I’ve never believed in God. To my people, people who believed in God were full of sh*t and we would never give them a thought. Of course it’s the pro-life Bible-thumpers pill-pushers that are stalking me and took away my perfectly good shotgun.

I’ve never had any friends, any family, any interests, or any girlfriends.