I dont feel suicidal. I just feel so empty inside. Wake up, play video games, go to sleep… Wake up, play video games, go to sleep… Repeat… I cant ever force myself to do something meaningful. The only thing I enjoy is getting high. Im the laziest person on this planet. My 20th birthday is coming soon and it terrifies me. I havent made any progress in my life since I was 12. I am still so alone. Sometimes I wish I was a girl you know… I know its dumb girls got their problems too.. But they are ultimately the selectors and guys are the ones being selected and judged. When you are a depressed girl someone will find you and love you anyway (usually). But when you are a depressed dude with no self esteem the only option that you have is: “get your shit together”.. “man up”… “focus on yourself”… No one gives a shit about male losers. And I get it. Its just evolution.
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As a depressed female I hate to tell you it’s not that way. Guys don’t typically come along and love you anyway. They use you. That hurt you. And me personally didn’t get to select anything. I’ve been molested, sexually assaulted, sexually harassed, raped. All by different people. It’s not something I talk about though because it physically hurts me to remember. It really isn’t good for either gender. Yeah I got off really lucky and I’m married now. But like I said. That was REALLY lucky. And i find it’s more guys that are the “selectors” God forbid you have one imperfection or they will point it out and now your ugly forever.
Im sorry for what has happened to you. My post may sounded like some incel tears shit but I didnt want it to be that way. I know that you dont automatically win in life by just being a girl of course. But… In humans females are the ones who select and thats just a scientific fact (except if you are some guy who is really at the top, then you can be the selector I guess but thats like 1% of guys). Human females are selective maters (thats how we differ from chimps and probably thats why we are so successful as a species – chimp females will mate with everyone and its the alpha males who need to chase the other guys off. Human females select). The number of girls that will approach you (as an average guy) or try to hit on you in your lifetime is 0. You just need to be the one who approaches, presents himself, tries to impress etc etc. And if you dont have the confidence for that u are screwed in life. Its just the way it is and its is stupid and pathetic for me to brag about it. Im sorry if my post upset you in some way.
No your post didn’t upset me. Remembering did but that was my own choice lol. I think it’s more both male and females that choose. But only the popular ones so unless you have a million friends your outta luck. But I’m happier with the lack of friends. I had around 100 but they all used me and hurt me. Even the females. So now I just shrug my shoulders and say meh.
It’s up to you to change things unless watching the world go by is what you want. It’s your choice.
I’m not judging you it’s not my life.