I want to feel loved. I long the feeling of being desired by someone. I want to feel like people out there love me and want me to exist. I want to have a reason not to kill my self. I want people who show me I matter and that i will be missed. But I don’t have those people. I just have sadness and emptiness. I have people who don’t bother to reach out to me and shallow friends. Give me a reason to stay alive. Don’t make me regret not killing my self. Because right now, I regret not killing my self when I had the chance. I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I’m tired of getting drunk alone. I’m tired of cutting myself so deep I have to sleep on a towel so I don’t get blood on my sheets. I’m tired of making myself throw up because I feel guilty for consuming so many calories. I just want to be okay again. I want to be loved. Is that too much to ask for?