I’m a NEET for 3 years, I was a programmer, but for some reason, I lost any desire to do programming after I slipped and hit my head. I had depression for a long time, and I’m too poor to visit psychiatrist so I don’t know how to fix it until today. Today is my birthday, so all my relatives “celebrates” it while I locked myself in my room. I felt sick that despite I’m being worthless, my parent still buy lots of food and invites their friends. I’m planning to kill myself by hanging tomorrow, since it’s quite a nice date (10/10). I might adds sedatives overdose and dehydration (already 2 days) to makes sure it felt a bit more peaceful and alleviated strangulation pain. I tried sedatives before, fell asleep after 3-5 mine but ends up puked up everything after 30 mine unconscious, should be plenty of time until asphyxiation occurs. I’m not sure why I write this, but I guess it calms and gave me strength to actually did it.