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Undeserved birthday

by Cypher__

I’m a NEET for 3 years, I was a programmer, but for some reason, I lost any desire to do programming after I slipped and hit my head. I had depression for a long time, and I’m too poor to visit psychiatrist so I don’t know how to fix it until today. Today is my birthday, so all my relatives “celebrates” it while I locked myself in my room. I felt sick that despite I’m being worthless, my parent still buy lots of food and invites their friends. I’m planning to kill myself by hanging tomorrow, since it’s quite a nice date (10/10). I might adds sedatives overdose and dehydration (already 2 days) to makes sure it felt a bit more peaceful and alleviated strangulation pain. I tried sedatives before, fell asleep after 3-5 mine but ends up puked up everything after 30 mine unconscious, should be plenty of time until asphyxiation occurs. I’m not sure why I write this, but I guess it calms and gave me strength to actually did it.

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Snowy 10/9/2019 - 9:41 pm

I hope you find your reason, and you are not worthless at all. You have so much left. Good luck

shatterediris 10/10/2019 - 11:13 am

welp today I learned that there is a label for people like me that’s great. :/
I’m sorry, birthdays are hard…. Hopefully everything goes well enough for you though, with whatever you decide to do. Although there is certainly something to be said about the date of 10/10/20 though too…. It is also pre nice…. (I’m sorry)

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