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What did I expect?

by alina_01

I have but 1 relative that always helped me no matter what and never threw it in my face or demanded anything in return. She has no kids I’m the closest thing she has to one. She has tons of medical problems and any time she needed me I was there. No matter what I was there. I put my life on hold to help her, no one else cares to help so it ALL falls on me. But everyone is quick to try and give advice or tell me what to do as if their opinion is even relevant the .001 seconds they came around in comparison to my years of knowledge and experience. As her health got worse and mistakes and complications happened at a piece of shit hospital with a piece of shit surgeon and the piece of shit health care that won’t fucken help. I have had to stop working completely to care for her which leaves me broke. Her social security helps us all stay a float but that isn’t enough. I believe in my heart that she can recover I really really do but she has to try, it isn’t going to be easy but I will help her I swear it! But she gives up she’s tired and honestly I get it I can’t fault her. Lately it’s more of her going against everything I’m trying to do to help her she fights me she won’t take her medicine or any of the supplements. I fight her more than anything and I’m so tired because for nearly 7 months basically all of 2019 I’ve fought for her. I’ve fought Doctors who are incompetent I’m in shock as to how they are doctors. Nurses who are neglectful and could careless about patient care. Medical insurance, social workers you name it I’ve argued with them. All to get her the basic care she deserves! INSANE!! I’m tired and I’m defeated! Then I have a relative visiting for the holidays that one second says they are shocked at how bad it is and they want to help out and they help with little chores. But the moment they get upset they throw it all in my face as if I asked for helped! And have the audacity to say they will be contributing financially what do I do?!!! As if the $300 or so dollars they are planning to send even come close to the hours of care I provide?! The medications that I research and give accordingly with supplements to help. The fact that I make sure the care program she’s in because of me refills her prescriptions in a timely manner and sends her incontinence supplies, wound care, and feeding supplies. All the time I spend checking vitals and setting up a feeding pump every single day, making food in the hopes that she will eat it changing her pampers cleaning her adjusting her in her bed with no one to help!! Sleeping in hospital chairs if at all but the $300 they want to send and the little bullshit they fixed up all that compares to what i do?! Here I am with no escape, she needs to be in a facility that can care for her round the clock she can only get that if she sells her house. When that happens I am homeless, I haven’t been able to work so I have no money. It is minimum $800 for rent a month with a requirement of 2 to 3 times monthly rent in income along with fees and deposits. How? I’m fucked no matter what I choose. I feel so alone so hurt and broken.


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Hadouken 12/29/2019 - 3:42 pm

I’m so sorry this is happening.. I have an understanding. My partner went through this same thing with his Mother.
You are very empathetic and it is admiring.
I wish I could lend you my strength. Please keep searching for the help you both deserve and need, it will be there somewhere. Just need to go through the pile of greedy people to find them.
I know it can be hard to not despise those around you who crumble so easily to such simple tasks compared to the selfless acts you have been doing, but understand they are just not strong enough. Not as strong as you have been. They do not know better.
I wish I could help.
Kia kaha

Cause of Death: Suicide 1/1/2020 - 1:29 pm

I’d help you if I could

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