escapism or whatever, i just need to feel loved or something positive so desperately. there are certain books and mangas have been giving me these beautiful dopamine rush. i forget about who i am, where i am, and i drawn in the pleasant sensation that goes from my arms to my stomach, my back.
it feels so good, well, but just like every time, when you go under the sun and return back everything just feels dimmer than they originally are.
i’m physically attached to it, when it comes, almost like an asmr tingle, i float up in the clouds.but i won’t always get them. for now they are physically making me feel better
update, i fucking hate myself again i hope i disappear from everyones mind so i can hang myself all alone and die without an identity!