It’s been a long time since I’ve posted here.
Things are slightly better, thanks to the shittier years before this one i failed school, I’m not that caught up on it because I’m stuck in the mentality that it doesn’t really matter because one day I’ll die and who cares about if I failed school then.
I’m almost 18, I’ve never had a proper job and I still can’t drive, every time i try to apply myself to these situations I have horrible panic attacks and can never bring myself to do it.
I hate my body and my soul, every time i try help myself through a therapist or medication, I always fuck up, why do i have to be so self destructive. I feel as if i am disappointing everyone around me and there is no way I can stop it.
I haven’t self harmed in over a year, it was hard to stop but it got easier. I don’t know why but recently its getting harder and harder to stop myself. I want it so bad, and I know I shouldn’t but for some reason it helped.
I don’t know what to do.