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I think I’m going to book it out of this place after I finish classes for the year.  I’ve become an irreversible failure, and there’s no way to fix it this time. Maybe I’ll train-hop out of here.  Once I’m gone, there’s nothing keeping me from following through.  I’m way too depressed to function anyway.  My meds, that I pay way too much money for,  aren’t working.  Trying to get help doesn’t work for me.  My mind’s just finally calm enough for me to do it, not out of a sudden and temporary spike of emotion, but through calm reasoning.  I don’t want to be a burden to anyone, and that’s just what I’m bound to be while I’m alive.  The one tie to someone I have will be severed for his good; I’m dragging him down.

I always thought I could fix myself enough to be close enough to good, but I guess I’ve finally realized that’s never really been a possibility.  Good luck, everybody.

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