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It feels like living in North Korea.

by Catjj

I’m sorry if there is any North Koreans are reading this, but I think this is the best way to describe my life. 3 years ago, me and my family moved to New Zealand and since then I was severely abused. My parents won’t let me out of the house, and the only 2 places I could go is home and school. I have limited internet access so I’m writing this very quickly (before my parents found out). It got worse last September, when my parents slapped me in the face 4 times in a row because they forced me to do a LOT of homework. So after that I did the “right thing” and send my teacher a  email. It “helped” someone went and see me and it’s all going well… until my parents found out. They force me to repeat the conversation and also FORCE me to lie to the counsellor that it was all a lie and I’m just attention seeking. After that my dad moved to another city and I lost some of my friends and even the teacher hates me because I’m “attention seeking”. Then it’s the school holidays which is basically one and a half month of quarantine. After that I moved to the city my dad lived in and I went to a new school were thing didn’t go well. I have friends but they have better friends. I hate myself, I joke about suicide and hope someone would take it seriously and just say “are you ok?” But no one did. I hate myself, I hate to be a “bad son”. I already tried to hang myself but the rope didn’t work:(. I just want to die.

oh and in case you are wondering, I’m 12 years old.

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2 comments

Abnormal.Thoughts 3/31/2020 - 8:15 am

I know it’s an eternity but I know what it’s like to feel trapped at home. 6 more years. You can do it.
Many people “outgrow” their suicidality. (Pretty sure it’s the change of circumstances and purpose that helps, not growing up.) You should at least give yourself the chance at making your own life away from them.
You could try going to the police, if it’s serious they would protect you from your parents.

maryjain1e 7/23/2020 - 11:24 pm

i’m so sorry you’re so young and dealing with this. i also just turned 13 a few months ago. i hope you’re healing and getting better. i wish you the best in life. please don’t turn to suicide.

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