Covid19.

I cant. I dug myself out of a fucking whole a year ago. I was on the brink of wanting to kill me and my kid being home all day. I’m luckily still working but I swear if I lose my job over this stupid pandemic. I’m in for it. I cant have such an available schedule. I make myself busy I do everything and anything I can to stay busy til I can’t stay awake longer. I have had mental health issues for years. I dont believe in medication. I know what keeps me balanced. If this covid BS affects me directly I’m gone. I wont be able to handle it. I know I’m not okay and I live day to day like I am. It’s a fucking joke. I’ve come so fucking far. I dont wanna feel anymore.