I don’t have any title for this.

Nothing fucking works… I told my mom about my depression and what I am going through… And long story short… (I am not telling the whole lecture that she gave cause this one sentence is enough to sum it all up)… She said,” A thing like depression does not exist. It’s just thoughts and in order to get rid of them, you just have to divert your mind into something else.” Now that I’ve told her, and received her “extraordinary” response, I feel way worse than before, cause now the ray of light named “help from parents” has died. And hell, I even mentioned, like said directly to her that I need professional help. (Because you know if I want some therapist or someone like that, then I’d have to seek my parents help.) But still, she didn’t give a fuck. She was just like “everyone has these thoughts. You are a teenager. Your hormones are changing. Eventually everything will be alright. Just try to put your faith in God (my mom’s super religious). It’s just exam stress. (Oh so I’ve had exam stress for more than two years now, why didn’t that come to my mind!!)  … Shut the fuck up mom…  How is that kind of  conversation even possible? I… Can’t… Even… Imagine being so… Idk I don’t have the perfect word to describe what she just said. And the irony is that even though I didn’t hope or expect anything from my mother but still all these years, I thought that my parents were supportive. I thought that maybe they’d understand and help me if I reached out to them. Idk maybe I did hope something. But now what am I supposed to do. How am I supposed to seek professional help when my parents don’t want to believe me, not only me, but my mom thinks that even depression is not real. How am I supposed to share my problems with someone else when the people who gave me this life don’t value it. How am I supposed to live?…. And so there I go, falling back into the spiral for the zillionth time.