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That night

by Whatsthepointasd

I keep thinking back to that night 28 November at 03:58, when i wrote my goodbye note on my computer just minutes before the attempt.
Why did it have to fail again, it does not gets better like everyone promise it will.
I have never succeed anything in my life not even my last attempt, why I’m such failure in anything I try to do in my life. Everyday, every night I dream back to that moment. I’m going to try again and hope this time I get some good sleep from it.

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Abnormal.Thoughts 4/9/2020 - 10:08 am

Do you want to share more about why you feel this way? Why do you want to end it?

Christina_the_Cat 4/9/2020 - 11:37 am

Maybe there’s a reason why your suicide attempt failed; maybe there’s a reason why, even though you don’t like it, you’re still alive. As someone who has been through terrible depression, I can tell you: you won’t get better in only a few months. It might take way, waaaaaaayyy longer than that. But though the night seems eternal, one day the sun will rise and your life will be bright like daylight. You know how much I fail? All. The. Time. But I am happy and everyday is a blessing for me. I take my failures as opportunities to learn and take a different direction. Success is not what you have accomplished, but the way you perceive your existence. One of my friends, Tony, is often seen as a failure by others: he plays the guitar in a metro and barely has enough money to live. Yet he loves his life and wouldn’t change anything to it. A failure isn’t someone who falls each time, but someone who has given up on life by doing what cannot be repaired. As long as you are alive, you are still fighting and, sooner or later, you will conquer the darkness. If I can do it, so can you. I am no better than you.

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