I shared a room with my younger brother and our room, connected to our father;s by a shared bathroom.Now a lot of this is a blur to me because for one I was little and for two, I spent most of my life trying to forget. I don’t remember when it all started but I do remember this one day. I was in the bathroom and he called for me. His room was always dark and cold. He gestured for me to sit on his bed and I did. My dad was the only parent I ever had. I dont remember much but I remember sitting next to him as he pulled out a dirty magazine and started reading this article to me. It was about a father and a daughter, the daughter was discovering her body for the first time and her father was helping her…I hope these articles are bullshit..I dont know why he was reading me those articles, maybe to “groom” me or to brainwash me into thinking that the things he was doing to me was a symbol of fatherly love and it worked for a while. He was always touching me and touching himself, using me like one of those magazines. I am an adult now and my skin still burns at time when I’m touched. My body feels like a bruise that never heals.
Ive never really talked much about this.