I’ve been feeling really alone for months already. That feeling when you’re surrounded by all these people and you just can’t feel them. I feel like I constantly have to do something to be appreciated. I feel like I’m in this fight on my own. Sometimes, it almost seem like I’m on a battle with my own sanity. I can’t keep it in tact with anything anymore.
The truth is I’m breaking. All the little secrets that were left unsaid but were everything I am well aware of. What am I supposed to do? I keep on running and running, reaching the edge, realizing I couldn’t run from all these demons, I can’t run from reality. I can’t run from myself. I can’t run to myself. Where do I go?
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Yes, you can’t run from reality. Just like that flashgame series called “Don’t escape”, there is no escape. (To be honest, not even suicide is an escape from the pains of existence).
My 3-year-long journey for search for meaning started with me saying to myself: “Okay, my perspective of reality has been shattered, as well as my plans for the future; so what do I do now? What do I know for certain? I have one life, what do I do with it? What is the meaning of life?” (suicide was never among my options, for why would I throw away the only certainty I have got?)
On my journey, I found the question “What is the meaning of life?” to be inaccurate; however I did find for the answer to all questions, the solution to all hardships of life. What I found is priceless, so much more than expected. I encourage you to search, I trust that you will find the answer. I found it after searching restlessly for 3 years; if I can, you can too.