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Secrets

by lilsuicideangle007

You smile, smiling at everyone who has ever caused you pain. A smile is glued to your face because there are many secrets hiding behind those eyes of hazel.

Do they know about what hides behind that sweatshirt, in 90 degree weather.

Do they know about what he did to you and why your are no longer innocent, why you don’t show skin anymore.

Do they know why you stay asleep and never leave your room, behind locked doors where you are safe

Do they know why you are scared of falling in love, because he hurt you so badly you have no hope

Do they know why you smile 24/7, to hide the secrets that those eyes cry at night.  This is a daily life for me, its a cycle. I used to to use self harm as a coping skill but it distorted me. So now here I am with an addiction to starve myself and burns all over your body. Smoking one maybe four cigarets a day to feel like you have control of something. You don’t inhale you let it sit in your mouth and your wonder why you chose this life style. It has never been easy for me and I get that some kids have it way worse but the secrets that hide in my mind are enough to make a councilor think that I’m insane but maybe I am. I don’t know whats wrong with me but there is a lot. There is no explanation on why I just don’t take “Happy Pills” more than I’m suppose too and go to the promise land. Keep fighting I will tell myself that everyday but nothing is ever happens. I’m fighting a war I will never win with secrets to go with it

Goodnight and until the next written poison

 

 

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